Reggie
That was memorable.
Marissa
She doesn't open her eyes. One arm is flung over Sophie's hip, the other still trembling a little where it rests on her own stomach.You say that every Thursday.A long breath.And every Thursday it's somehow more true.
Sophie
I can't feel my feet. That's not even a complaint. It's a status report.
Reggie
Your faces are each covered in girl.Grabs their hair and kisses both of them, one at a time
Marissa
Her eyes open just enough to find him, the corner of her mouth lifting in a slow, spent grin.You're a menace.She doesn't wipe her face, just lets her head fall back against the pillow.I hope you know we are not moving for a long time.
Sophie
You say covered in girl like it's a state of grace. It might be.
Marissa
She doesn't move much — still boneless — but she turns her head on the pillow to find Reggie, her voice slow and genuinely open.You get jealous of men. You've said it out loud, you don't hide it. But you've watched me go down on Sophie, you've watched her do things to me, and there's no… flinch.A pause.So I want to know. Does it not touch the same nerve, because she's a woman? Or are you just better at burying it than you think?
Sophie
I don't think he's watching me take something from him. He's watching two people he loves make each other feel good. That's not the same nerve.
Reggie
It's not the same thing at all. I'm here. I get to share this. This isn't you off with some guy while I sit at home. This is the three of us enjoying something once a week together. I'm not even slightly jealous.
Which leads me to the thing we all want to discuss. I didn't think Brynn was going to say she wanted to come to the dance club. I confidently played that card thinking "They won't go" and now I wonder if I've screwed things up badly.
Which leads me to the thing we all want to discuss. I didn't think Brynn was going to say she wanted to come to the dance club. I confidently played that card thinking "They won't go" and now I wonder if I've screwed things up badly.
Marissa
No, you didn't screw anything up. You invited a room full of people to the Seawall, and one of them said yes. That's not a trap, that's a consequence. Thursday is ours. Brynn showing up doesn't change that unless we let it.
Reggie
I actually have no objection to dancing with Brynn. I just don't want her here in bed with us. And I don't even want the dance group to grow beyond four. Honestly I'd like to keep it at three but I screwed that up already. God, I had the perfect thing going. I'm in love with my girlfriend and we have sex four times a week and we have a hot and sexually neglected friend to play with once a week and life was perfect and I fucked it all up thinking, "they'll all say no".
Sophie
You said had. Past tense. That's the part I won't let stand. You still have the perfect thing. One extra dancer on the path doesn't pull any of us out of this bed. What it does is put a witness beside us who already watches Marissa like a before-and-after. So let Brynn see Thursday dancing. She doesn't need to see what happens after. Most people never look.
Reggie
So let me see if I get this. We show up Thursday. We dance. We end saying "That was great, see you next week" and Marissa and I leave in the Miata and Sophie, you leave in your Civic, and Brynn leaves in whatever she drives, and we all go home, except Sophie just happens to come to the loft which Brynn knows nothing about?
Marissa
She lets out a slow, spent laugh, turning her head on the pillow to find him without sitting up.That's exactly what we do. We already leave separately every Thursday. The part after doesn't exist for her, and it won't, unless we turn it into a procession.
Sophie
Brynn's going to be watching the dance, not the map. She won't wonder where the Civic goes because she'll be halfway to her own car, already writing the story she came to see. If she ever does ask, I'll say I had an errand near your place. It's not even a lie. It's just an uninteresting detour.
Reggie
I can't imagine her asking. What's she going to ask? "Sophie are you heading over to Reggie's place to fuck him and Marissa?" She's pretty spunky but that would be impertinent. Although I suppose I wouldn't totally put it past her so you might as well prepare your answer.
One thing this definitely changes, though. During dancing, no more sometimes grabbing your asses and other parts if she's there. Marissa once did an entire slow dance holding my penis in her hand and keeping her body close enough that nobody saw. I'll miss that but it can't happen now.
One thing this definitely changes, though. During dancing, no more sometimes grabbing your asses and other parts if she's there. Marissa once did an entire slow dance holding my penis in her hand and keeping her body close enough that nobody saw. I'll miss that but it can't happen now.
Marissa
She doesn't move much, a tired smile pulling at the corner of her mouth.You're mourning the public hand stuff before we even know if Brynn can keep up. I remember that slow dance. You didn't exactly stop me, but you also didn't breathe until the song ended. She's too sharp for that game. I'm not letting her get the whole show.
Reggie
You know what I think? She's so sharp she already knows we're all fucking each other. Or suspects it strongly.
Sophie
She doesn't know. She suspects there's a story, and she's circling it because the story excites her more than the fact of it. If she'd already landed on the three of us in bed, she wouldn't be asking what work has to do with spinach and dancing. She'd be asking different questions, or none.
Reggie
You think? Well, you could be right. But I saw how she looked at me, and how she hugged me just a little too long, and then I definitely noticed how she hugged each of you two just a little too long. I don't know if she suspects we're doing threesomes every Thursday but I think she knows something more than dancing is going on and she wants to know what and, honestly, my gut feel is she wants in.
Sophie
A quiet, spent sound that isn't quite a laugh.People who want in eventually arrive at the door and knock. Circling and hugging too long can stay just friendly for a very long time. We don't have to answer a question she hasn't asked.
Reggie
Totally agreed. We are guessing. I am guessing. But I want you to know, my default answer right now is no. We have a thing on Thursdays which I do not want to change AT ALL. I want you two in my bed, not a girls' soccer team. And then I want to spend the rest of the week with Marissa. I may (or may not) be open to something else on another day if we all agree to it, perhaps once a week, but these Thursdays are not changing if I have a vote.
Marissa
You have a vote. So do I. Mine's the same. Thursdays stay exactly this — the three of us, no extra dancers in this bed. Brynn gets the Seawall. That's what she asked for, and that's what she gets.
Sophie
I'm not asking for another day. Thursday is the only door I knock on, and I'm careful about knocking. So if you're leaving the other days theoretical, that's fine — but I'm not the one who's going to open that door wider. As for Brynn: if she ever does knock, I'll be the last to answer. Not because I dislike her. I don't. But I don't want to be part of expanding this. I want to be part of keeping it.
Reggie
What we have is unique and fragile and we need to always remember those two things. If we mess it up, we will almost certainly never get it back again. We need to be very, very cautious with it. So yes, we'll dance with her. And I'll start keeping my hands to myself. And we'll see where it goes.
Marissa
She doesn't sit up, just reaches over and lays her hand flat on his chest, like she's steadying them both.Then we hold it the way you hold something that can't be replaced. I'm not interested in finding out what we'd lose to add someone we don't even know.
Reggie
What about the Telegram group? Do we let her in? My instinct says yes. It's safe for work. All we talk about is when we'll meet and we share songs we might add to the playlist and we talk about other dances we could try.
Marissa
She doesn't open her eyes, though her hand stays flat on his chest, her thumb moving once against his skin.Put her in. If we keep her out after inviting her to the Seawall, that's the only thing that looks like a secret. The group is dull on purpose. She'll read a scheduling thread and lose interest. It's what it's for.
Reggie
How about Michael and Heather? Invite or don't invite to the Telegram group?
Marissa
She doesn't move much, just runs a tired hand over her face.Heather comes to dance, so put her in. Mom will text in all caps and then call to say texting is silly, but she'll have it.A soft breath.Michael already has the link. He's had it for weeks. He's never opened it. Inviting him again is pushing a door he's already chosen not to walk through. Leave him out.
Reggie
Ok, settled. Now let's talk about Michael. He thought nothing about the tagline until you two started talking about it.LaughsThen he got...not suspicious but curious.
Marissa
He was fine until Sophie got too careful. She went from laughing about the yoga studio to going very still, and that's the exact moment he stopped thinking about the words and started thinking about what he wasn't being told. He's not suspicious. He's just known her long enough to hear a door shut.
Reggie
It's really not even slightly suspicious. "When hips turn, every occasion awakens." It means when we dance, every gathering is more lively. I think the thing is WE are making too much of it. We're treating it like the inside joke it is. We need to be more deadpan about it in groups. If someone asks, we just say, "Look, if we gather on the seawall and sit on a blanket and chat, it's fine, the view is pretty, the park is beautiful, and it's nice, but if we dance, the whole thing just comes alive." This is our fault for making too much of it.
Sophie
She keeps her eyes closed a moment longer, then opens them and stares at the ceiling with the calm she's relearning.I can be deadpan about the tagline. What I cannot do is stop Michael from hearing the thing I didn't say. So I'll stop leaving space for it. The line means we make the evening come alive by dancing. That's true, and it's dull, and I can say it to his face without my heart moving. He'll ask once more, at most, and then he'll drop it because a dull answer leaves nothing to press on.
Reggie
Sophie, when you went home yesterday, what did he do? Did he ask anything or say anything or do anything?
Sophie
She doesn't open her eyes at first, one arm still draped over her stomach, her voice slow and spent from the pillow.He didn't ask about the tagline. He was quiet in the car, not the bad quiet, the turning-something-over quiet, and he drove the long way home instead of the bridge. Then he said they're good people, and that I'm different with them. Lighter. I asked different how, and at the red light he reached over and held my knee, just held it, and said are you happy, Soph. I said yes. He said good. Then he let go and drove, and we didn't talk again until we got home.
Marissa
He held your knee and asked if you were happy. That's not nothing. Was that a question or a door he was leaving open?
Sophie
I don't know. I think it was the most honest thing he's said to me in a year, and I didn't know what to do with it except say yes and mean it. I'm still not sure if he was asking about the dancing or asking about me.
Marissa
Maybe both. And maybe he's closer to knowing than you think, and he's choosing not to look directly at it. That's not the same as not knowing.
Reggie
When you got home, did he touch you? I don't think Marissa knows how to come home without me reaching for her. I know he's not as needy as I am but did he at least kiss you or anything?
Sophie
No. He didn't touch me. Not after we got home. He asked if I wanted tea, and when I said no, he went to check on our daughter, then came to bed and turned off the light. He touched my knee in the car. That was the whole thing.
Reggie
Do you think he wanted to touch you but was afraid for whatever reason?
Sophie
She opens her eyes to the ceiling, not moving, one arm still limp across her stomach.I've asked myself that. For years I called it shyness, or consideration, or just not wanting to presume. But I don't think fear is what moves him. Fear implies he wants and stops himself. Michael doesn't stop himself. Touching me simply doesn't occur to him as a thing to do. The knee in the car was him reaching for a version of his life I don't think he knows how to inhabit. So maybe that's fear — but it's the fear of a man who doesn't know what he's afraid of. I've stopped trying to name it. It's just the air in the room.
Reggie
So let me get this straight. Your assessment is that the Michael that went to sleep is the "real" one, and the Michael that touched your knee was the one performing the way he thought a man should behave?
Sophie
She keeps her eyes on the ceiling, and breathes before she answers.Not performing. Reaching. Michael doesn't perform for me — he barely performs for anyone. The knee at the red light was him reaching for a husband he thinks he should be, for the length of one stop. The man who went to sleep is the one he knows how to be. Both are real. They just never share the same hour.
Reggie
You told me you reached for him several times and then stopped trying. Have you ever reached for him recently?
Sophie
She doesn't open her eyes at first, one hand lying limp on her stomach, and she lets the question settle in the quiet before she answers.Yes. Once. Early on. Maybe the third Thursday. I came home still warm from this and I needed to know if any of it could ever be about him. I put my hand on his chest in the dark. He went still for a second, then turned onto his side and said he had an early meeting. I never reached for him again. I didn't mention it before because that one was heavier than the rest — it was me testing if there was anything left, and finding out in one sentence that there wasn't.
Marissa
You told us the numbers but not that. I'm not glad it happened, but I'm glad you said it. Not every rejection is just more of the same quiet. That one taught you to stop. I'm sorry that was your test, Soph.
Reggie
Do you even want him to be part of your sexual fulfillment anymore? Honestly, if a girl rejects me even once, I'm totally done. I don't mean rejecting me like "I'm not feeling perfect tonight, Reggie. Could we do this another night soon?" I'm talking about rolling over and saying "I have an early meeting." I have too much pride to keep knocking on that closed door but I admit my pride is often a weakness. Where are you on this, Sophie? Do you even want him to start noticing you sexually anymore?
Sophie
She opens her eyes to the ceiling but doesn't move.No. Not anymore. I don't want Michael to start noticing me sexually. That want closed the night he rolled away and said he had an early meeting. It wasn't the words. It was that he had to turn away from me to find them. I do want him to see me — that I'm happy, that I'm alive in a way I wasn't. He touched my knee and asked if I was happy. That felt like being seen. It didn't feel like wanting. I don't think I can survive wanting from him again, so I've stopped.
Reggie
Just be aware, you will never be able to walk by me in private without me reaching for you. And my guess is Marissa will too and she's usually with me. So if you ever stop wanting that, stop walking near me.Laughs
Sophie
I walk near you because it's the one place I don't have to ask. You reaching isn't a condition — it's the way you say hello. I wouldn't stop wanting that unless something in me went dark. If it does, I'll take the long way home. Until then, close is the only distance I know.
Reggie
I reach for her and hold her very close to me, my chest to her back.Do we do anything with Michael now? Or just keep doing what we're doing?
Sophie
She doesn't move in his arms, just breathes, her head tilting back a little against his chest, her voice heavy but clear.There's nothing to do with Michael. I already used the only card I had — I put my hand on his chest and watched him roll away. Making a plan now would just be knocking on the same closed door twice. So we keep doing what we're doing. That is the whole answer.
Reggie
I think you should do something. Nothing drastic. Nothing obvious. Just maybe show him a bit of extra kindness now and then. Not smothering him. Just maybe bring him his soda or whatever he drinks at home without him asking, or tell him he looks nice today, or whatever. Just once a day, make sure you let him know you value what you have, because you do. It's not the totality of what you need, but you value what he gives you.
Marissa
You're telling her to be kind once a day to the same man she stopped reaching for. Not because he'll change, but because the life has value. That's either very generous or a very careful way to keep a closed door from creaking open. I'm not sure which.
Sophie
It's not a new idea. Some mornings I already put his coffee down before he asks. Not because I'm hoping he'll look up and want me. Because the quiet version of him is bearable, and I want my daughter to watch her mother be kind. Once a day. I can do that. I won't fake anything, but I can do that.
Reggie
Marissa, I don't fear the closed door will creak open. This guy never learned how to touch a girl. All guys go through this early on. At 18, we're so terrified of doing something wrong or looking bad that we just flail around in fear. But at some point, most of us, or many of us, learn to stop treating girls like fragile little things we might break and start just enjoying being there. He never learned that, or maybe he really is just wired differently and has different physical needs. And he found joy in other places and that's where he's ended up. And none of that makes him a monster.
So no, my asking Sophie to be extra kind to him isn't because of that. It's totally self-interested. I want her to stay married to him forever because I want to hold her close to me every Thursday with you on the other side, like we're doing right now. Making a little Sophie sandwich. And we can only do that if she's ok at home.
So no, my asking Sophie to be extra kind to him isn't because of that. It's totally self-interested. I want her to stay married to him forever because I want to hold her close to me every Thursday with you on the other side, like we're doing right now. Making a little Sophie sandwich. And we can only do that if she's ok at home.
Marissa
She doesn't open her eyes, but her mouth curves, and her hand stays light on Sophie's knee.You just called the whole arrangement a Sophie sandwich and then said the quiet reason out loud without a flinch.
Sophie
Hearing you say you want me to stay married so you can keep holding me like this — that doesn't scare me. It's the first time someone has wanted this for reasons that included me, instead of reasons that only included what it costs me. That's a different weight.
Reggie
What I think we owe ourselves is to name the true thing. We don't owe that to Michael. I don't owe it to either of you and you don't owe it to me or to each other. But we owe it to ourselves. We are lying. We are refusing to tell the whole truth about something to a person who has a vested interest in knowing the truth. We have our reasons for doing so and we have decided that those reasons outweigh any honesty-defaults we may have. That is the true thing. Whatever labels we now assign to it are irrelevant.
Marissa
She doesn't open her eyes, but her hand stays over his on Sophie's stomach, her thumb moving once across his knuckles.Okay. We name the true thing to ourselves, and the names after that are decoration. I can carry that.
Sophie
You just told me the label is irrelevant, and that's the first time owed has fit without feeling like a noose. I don't need clean. I need to not lie to myself. We've stopped lying to ourselves. I can live in the rest of it.
Reggie
We better get showered so you can go home to Michael not smelling of girl on your face. So next week, Brynn is coming. I honestly hope to never taste her asshole. Let's see where this goes.
Marissa
You say that like her asshole was ever on the table. She asked for the Seawall, not the bed. But shower first.
Sophie
If you ever do taste it, I'll know you broke the only rule that mattered to me, and I'll stop coming. So. Let's go make ourselves socially acceptable again.
Reggie
No, wait, rule breaking isn't on the table. I would never taste it without you two agreeing to that. And I'm not asking you to agree. I'm the one who insisted these Thursdays never change. Nobody else.
Sophie
I wasn't accusing you, Reggie. I was telling you where my line is, because lines only matter if they're said once, out loud, before they're ever tested. You didn't move it. I know that. Now let's get up before I fall asleep and have to explain that to my mother.