The Dance Club · Chapter 15

The Card You Can Play

By Reggie · November 5, 2026

The group gathered on the grass after dancing — Reggie, Marissa, Sophie, and Brynn — on a Thursday evening at their usual outdoor spot by the Seawall. Brynn reported that she had asked David on Tuesday night, after dinner and before he put his headphones on, for permission to be with other people physically without ending their marriage. She told him she loved him, said she wasn't happy with the shape of her life, and described meeting people through the dance club who had a different kind of arrangement — using the word 'arrangement' first, then being more specific when he asked. David went quiet, then asked whether Brynn would divorce him if he said no; she said she didn't know. He said he had to think about it. The next day he said no, then asked if she wanted a divorce, and she again said she didn't know. He said 'okay' and went to work. He called her at lunch that day — unusually for him — to ask if she wanted him to pick up food, which Brynn read as possibly someone still thinking rather than someone who had closed a door. Brynn disclosed that she had spent that day calculating whether she could afford the apartment alone: rent is $2,500 a month, her take-home after deductions is approximately $3,300 a month on a $45,000 salary, leaving $800 for everything else — not enough for utilities, internet, and car expenses, with missed rent when the car breaks down. She described crying every night in another room from David, her mind not in a state to begin the bookkeeping course, and said she wished she had never been born. She also said she felt she should drop the group because the others lead good lives and she only makes things depressing, and apologized — which Marissa and Sophie both refused to accept. Sophie then disclosed that she and Michael own a townhouse condominium with a two-bedroom suite downstairs rented to Sophie's mother for $1,500 a month; there is a second bedroom in that suite with its own bathroom and shower, currently empty. Sophie said she had already asked her mother whether she would be open to a roommate, her mother loved the idea, and the room would be available to Brynn for $750 a month if everything went to hell — giving Brynn roughly $2,500 a month free for other expenses instead of $800. Sophie told Brynn she had a month before anyone else would take the room, framed it as a card to play if needed rather than a commitment required now, and stated the house rules clearly upfront: no overnight guests, no loud music, no drugs, no excessive drinking, no smoking. Brynn thanked Sophie and Marissa. The student loan situation was also confirmed: Brynn has prequalified for a government program that pays Kwantlen directly, requires no payments for five years, and is ready when she is — the loan is not currently blocking her from starting the bookkeeping course. The wall identified was rent, not school. The question of whether David's 'no' is final or a first position was raised by Reggie and left open by Brynn.

Reggie

You've had a week to think, Brynn. Did it help?

Brynn

I asked him.

Marissa

She stops mid-reach for her root beer zero and just stares at Brynn.You asked him.A breath.You actually asked him.

Holy shit, Brynn.

Sophie

What did he say?

Brynn

He went very quiet. And then we talked for a long time. And he asked if I would divorce him if he said no, and I told him I didn't know. And then he said he had to think about it. And then the next day he said no. And he asked if I wanted a divorce and I said I don't know.

Marissa

She sets the root beer zero down in the grass very carefully, like if she moves too fast something will break.He said no.A breath, slow.And then he asked you if you wanted a divorce, and you said you don't know. How did he take that? The I don't know part?

Sophie

You told him you didn't know if you'd leave. That's not a small thing to say out loud. How are you doing right now, this minute, sitting on this grass?

Brynn

How am I doing right now, Sophie? I wish I had never been born. That's how I'm doing. And please don't make a thing of it because nothing you say is going to make me feel any better.

Marissa, he said "ok" and then went on with his day. He went to work. I went to work. And I spent the day trying to figure out if I could afford the apartment myself and the answer was no. So I'm not in great shape here.

Marissa

She just looks at Brynn, hands flat in the grass.He said okay and went to work. That's — that's its own kind of answer, isn't it. Not cruel. Just completely absent. He found out his wife doesn't know if she wants to stay and then he went to work.

Sophie

The apartment number — do you know what it actually is? What you'd need to cover it alone?

Brynn

We pay $2500 a month. I make $45000 a year. Call it $3300 a month take home after deductions. I'd need to live on $800 a month which isn't even enough for utilities, internet, and gas for the car. And I miss rent when the car breaks down.

Marissa

She does the math in her face before she says it.So you're not choosing to stay. You're just — not able to leave yet. Those aren't the same thing and you know they're not the same thing. But they look the same from the outside and I imagine they've been feeling the same from the inside for the last week, and that's its own kind of trapped.

Sophie

Eight hundred a month. That's not a margin. That's a wall. The certification you talked about — the bookkeeping course. The student loan. Does that change the number, or does it just add more weight before the number changes?

Brynn

It's neutral. I pay nothing for five years under the government program and I've prequalified so I know it's ready when I am. They pay Kwantlen directly. I have a problem five years down the road if things aren't better but nothing now.

Marissa

So the loan is already lined up. It's not blocking you. The wall is the rent, not the school.

Brynn

Yes, I could theoretically start. The problem there isn't money. It's me. I already told you, my mind isn't in a space where I can learn. I just sit at home, get into another room from David, and cry all night. And yes, I know I'm pathetic. You don't need to tell me. I already know.

Marissa

She doesn't fill the silence right away. She just looks at Brynn, and when she speaks her voice is very quiet and completely without decoration.Stop saying pathetic. You're not pathetic. You're someone who asked a very hard question this week, heard no, and is still sitting on this grass instead of disappearing. That's not nothing. But I hear the rest of it. The crying. The other room. I'm not going to talk you out of the state you're in with a speech about potential.

Brynn

Sitting on the grass isn't heroic. It's all I've got. And yes, that's path...ok whatever, choose your own words for it. And I don't mean to be such a downer. Sometimes I think I should just drop this group because you all lead such good lives and I come here and just make it all depressing. I'm truly sorry.

Marissa

She reaches across the grass and puts her hand over Brynn's, not squeezing it, just resting it there, and she doesn't let the apology land without something to hold it.Don't you dare apologize for being honest on this grass. We built this place for the true things. Yours count the same as ours.

Sophie

You think you're making it depressing. What you're actually doing is making it real. You're the only person in this circle right now who walked into something genuinely hard this week and is still showing up. That's not a downer. That's the whole point of the grass.

You told me nothing I could say would make you feel better. I think you might be wrong.

Brynn

She looks up from the grass, and the red around her eyes hasn't gone anywhere, but there's a flicker of something — not hope exactly, more like the reflex of wanting to know.What are you talking about?

Marissa

She doesn't move her hand from Brynn's, but she turns her head toward Sophie, curious and a little careful.Yeah. What are you talking about?

Sophie

We live in a townhouse condominium. It's not huge but it's nice. And downstairs, we built a two-bedroom suite we rent to my mom for $1500 a month. It's below market but it's my mom. Michael is ok with it. He actually likes my mom as she contributes a lot to our lifestyle, looking after my daughter and cleaning up even when nobody asks. Anyway, even at $1500 a month, it's hard for her. She's on a pension. And there's a second bedroom there sitting empty. And I asked her if she'd be interested in a roomie that I've known for a few months, a nice girl I think well of. She loved the idea.

I know you can't say yes or no. I know you're not in a state to. I just want you to know that there is a room for $750 available to you if everything goes to hell. And it has its own bathroom with a shower. And having $2500 a month free for bills is better than having $800. I'll make sure nobody takes it in the next month. It's not even really on offer. My mom is making it work. It would just be easier for her if she had $750 more every month, so everyone would win.

As Reggie once told me, just treat it as a card you can play if you have to.

Marissa

She looks at Sophie for a long moment, her hand still resting over Brynn's in the grass.You cleared the wall.A breath, very quiet.You just cleared the wall.

Brynn

Your mom doesn't know me. And you asked her anyway.

Sophie

If you ever play the card, be aware it's our home. No overnight men. No overnight anyone, really. No loud music, drugs, excessive drinking, smoking. Not that you'd do any of that. But I've learned to say things out loud in this group rather than assume everyone knows, even though everyone knows.

Brynn

She looks at Sophie for a long moment.You put a rule on it before I even said yes so I wouldn't have to wonder later what the edges were. I've been sitting here for an hour feeling like the only person in the room who's drowning and you just —

Reggie

Sophie is even cooler than I thought she was.

Brynn

Her voice comes out smaller than usual, which for Brynn is saying something.I don't know how to say thank you for something that big without it sounding like not enough. So I'm just going to say it anyway. Thank you. Both of you.

Marissa

Let's talk more about David. When did you ask him? And how? What did you say? Not just can I have a hall pass. You must have said stuff.

Brynn

She pulls a blade of grass, and for a moment the only sound is the Seawall and the distant traffic.I asked him on Tuesday night. After dinner, before he put his headphones on. I told him I needed to talk to him before he disappeared into his music. I said I loved him — and I said it because it felt like the kind thing to say before something hard, which maybe wasn't fair to either of us. And then I said I wasn't happy. Not with him specifically. With my life. With the shape of it. And I said I had met people through the dance club who had a different kind of arrangement, and that I thought — I thought — maybe something like that might help me feel less like I was going to crawl out of my own skin. I didn't say sex. Not at first. I said arrangement. And he looked at me like I'd said something in a language he almost recognized and asked me to be more specific. So I was. I said I wanted permission to be with other people, physically, without it ending us. And then the quiet happened.

Sophie

You said it clearly. Without dressing it up as something smaller than it was. That's harder than it sounds. A lot of people find a softer word and then spend an hour watching the other person misunderstand them. You didn't do that.

Brynn

I didn't want to be kind in a way that made him think I meant something I didn't. That felt worse. He asked who. I said a couple I'd met through dancing. I didn't say names. He didn't push on that. He just — he sat there for a long time and then he asked the question about whether I'd leave if he said no, which I already told you. And I said I didn't know because it was true and because I thought he deserved the true thing even if the true thing was awful.

Reggie

Do you think the no was final or a first bid?

Brynn

She turns the blade of grass over in her fingers, and her eyes stay on the water for a long moment before she answers.I don't know. He said no and then he went to work, which sounds like final. But then he called me at lunch. Didn't say anything important — asked if I wanted him to pick up food on the way home. He never does that. I don't know if that was a peace offering or just David being David. But it felt like someone who was still thinking about it. Not someone who'd closed a door.

Marissa

He called at lunch. That's not a man who's done processing.