Reggie
Reggie, Sophie and Marissa all lie in bed together, naked. They've just had sex. A month has passed since the first time they did this. This is their fifth time. It's becoming comfortable. The girls are now able to give each other orgasms, although not as well as Reggie can. Neither is as patient as Reggie, to their mutual surprise. And this has given them new empathy for men who are impatient, including Michael, Sophie's husband. Reggie asked Sophie to arrange things with Michael so she could stay until 11 pm. Sophie said she'd explore it. Michael doesn't get home until 11pm anyway so she thought it would be fine. Reggie is holding Sophie tightly in his arms, his chest to her back, while Marissa draws little circles on Sophie's breasts with her fingers.Sophie, did you talk to Michael about staying a bit later?
Sophie
She's quiet for a moment — the comfortable kind, the kind that exists now between the three of them in a way it didn't in the beginning.Yes.A breath.I told him the dance club sometimes runs late and asked if my mother could stay until eleven.
He said sure without looking up.
He said sure without looking up.
Marissa
He didn't ask why it was running late.
Sophie
No. He didn't ask anything. I had a whole reason prepared. He just said sure.
I'm not sure if that's convenient or — the other thing again.
I'm not sure if that's convenient or — the other thing again.
Marissa
Both, probably. Same as the root beer.
Sophie
Same as the root beer. Yes.
My mother did ask why. She just looked at me over her tea and asked if I was doing okay. And I said yes. And she said good. And that was the whole conversation but it wasn't, if you know what I mean.
My mother did ask why. She just looked at me over her tea and asked if I was doing okay. And I said yes. And she said good. And that was the whole conversation but it wasn't, if you know what I mean.
Marissa
Your mother knows.
Sophie
She knows something. I don't think she knows what. She just knows her daughter came home from a Thursday looking — different. She's been looking at me differently for a month.
She hasn't said a word about it. That's how I know she approves.
She hasn't said a word about it. That's how I know she approves.
Reggie
You don't see it because you see yourself every day, but I see it. You are a very different woman from the one you were a month ago. Happier. More confident. Not always questioning yourself. You laugh more easily. And when I do what I'm doing right now, holding you so tight that I'm not sure you can breathe, you don't give me this vibe that you're not sure you deserve it anymore.
Sophie
She's quiet for a long moment — and Reggie's arms are tight around her and Marissa's fingers are still moving and the room holds its particular quality of five times now, of something that has stopped being new and become something else.I didn't know I was doing that.A breath.The vibe thing. I didn't know it was visible.
My mother said something last week. She said you look like yourself again. And I told her I'd been dancing. And she said, that's not what I mean, Sophie.
My mother said something last week. She said you look like yourself again. And I told her I'd been dancing. And she said, that's not what I mean, Sophie.
Marissa
What did you say back to her.
Sophie
Nothing. I just looked at her and she looked at me and we didn't say anything for about ten seconds and then she topped up my tea.
That was the whole conversation. But it was also not that at all.
That was the whole conversation. But it was also not that at all.
Reggie
If you like, feel free to bring her down with you someday. I won't say one word about anything other than dancing. But she'll know. And she'll like us. I'm pretty determined that she like us and we can be hard to hate when we're on our best behaviour.
Sophie
She goes very still for a moment.My mother. You want to meet my mother.
She'd see right through us in about four minutes. I want you to know that going in. She's been reading me since I was six years old and I've never once gotten away with anything.
She'd see right through us in about four minutes. I want you to know that going in. She's been reading me since I was six years old and I've never once gotten away with anything.
Reggie
Play it however you want. Just know that I'd welcome it. Hell, I'd welcome it if you brought Michael down. I don't hate him. He didn't choose to be asexual or whatever he is. Which doesn't obligate you to become asexual beside him, but it doesn't make him a monster.
Sophie
Michael. You'd welcome Michael.
He'd shake your hand and mean it. That's the thing about him. He's genuinely pleasant. He'd ask about your software and actually listen to the answer. He'd say something kind about Marissa and mean that too. And then he'd go home and tell me he thought they were a nice couple and never once — never once think to wonder why I was looking at you the way I was looking at you.
He'd shake your hand and mean it. That's the thing about him. He's genuinely pleasant. He'd ask about your software and actually listen to the answer. He'd say something kind about Marissa and mean that too. And then he'd go home and tell me he thought they were a nice couple and never once — never once think to wonder why I was looking at you the way I was looking at you.
Marissa
That's not a monster. That's just — someone who's somewhere else entirely.
Sophie
Somewhere else entirely. Yes. That's the most accurate thing anyone has said about him.
I used to think there was something I wasn't doing. Something I could fix. And then I spent enough Thursdays here to understand that this — this isn't something I was failing to create with him. This isn't a skill I lacked. He just — he's not in the room the same way you two are in the room. He's never been in that room. I don't think he knows it exists.
That used to make me angrier than it does now.
I used to think there was something I wasn't doing. Something I could fix. And then I spent enough Thursdays here to understand that this — this isn't something I was failing to create with him. This isn't a skill I lacked. He just — he's not in the room the same way you two are in the room. He's never been in that room. I don't think he knows it exists.
That used to make me angrier than it does now.
Reggie
Ok, let me first say I'd never ever say anything, but just asking, do you think he'd even mind? I mean, I can't put myself in that mindspace. I'm hetero and jealous. Especially now that Marissa has lost another 4 kilos and looks like a supermodel, every guy in the city wants to screw her and I'm insecure about it. But I'm trying to imagine what it is to be a guy who honestly just doesn't enjoy doing it. And then there's another guy who takes that burden off his shoulders. To me, it's a prize that I'm protective of and jealous about. To him, it's raking the leaves, and along comes another guy saying, "I got you, bro, I'll rake those leaves for you." I don't even know if he'd be mad.
Sophie
She's quiet for a long moment — and Reggie's arms are around her and Marissa's fingers have stilled against her skin and the room holds the particular quality of five Thursdays now, of something that has become its own kind of known.I've thought about that. More than I want to admit.
And I think — honestly — he'd be relieved. Not that he'd say that. He'd be upset in the way you're supposed to be upset. He'd do the performance of it. But underneath that — underneath the performance — I think part of him has been waiting for someone to take the leaves.
And I think — honestly — he'd be relieved. Not that he'd say that. He'd be upset in the way you're supposed to be upset. He'd do the performance of it. But underneath that — underneath the performance — I think part of him has been waiting for someone to take the leaves.
Marissa
That's the saddest version of fine I've ever heard.
Does that make you angry. That he'd be relieved.
Sophie
No. That's the strange part. It used to. A month ago that thought made me furious — the idea that I could be replaceable that easily, that casually. But now I'm lying here and — I don't know. I think I've stopped needing him to mind. I think I've stopped needing him to feel the loss of something he never knew he had.
You two mind. That's enough.
You two mind. That's enough.
Reggie
You're not replaceable to him. That's incorrect. He's NOT replacing any part of you that he uses. He never used you for sex before. He doesn't use you for sex now. He won't use you for sex in the future. And from what little I understand of the guy, he won't get another girl to use for sex either. And I don't say "use for sex" in a degrading way, I just mean that this is something I want of you, both of you. I want to have my way with your bodies. He doesn't want it from you OR from anyone else.
Sophie
She's quiet for a long moment.Oh. That's — okay. That reframes it entirely.
He's not replacing something. There's no slot I'm filling that someone else could fill because he's never — he's not using any of that slot to begin with. It's just empty. It's been empty since before I knew to notice it was empty.
He's not replacing something. There's no slot I'm filling that someone else could fill because he's never — he's not using any of that slot to begin with. It's just empty. It's been empty since before I knew to notice it was empty.
Marissa
And we're not filling his slot either. We don't have anything to do with his slot. We have our own entirely separate slot.
Sophie
Our own entirely separate slot. Marissa, that is a terrible way to put it and also exactly right.
I've been framing this as something I'm doing to him. Taking something that belongs to him. And you're telling me there's nothing to take. That I've been feeling guilty about stealing from an empty room.
That's — I need to sit with that one for a while. But I think you might be right.
I've been framing this as something I'm doing to him. Taking something that belongs to him. And you're telling me there's nothing to take. That I've been feeling guilty about stealing from an empty room.
That's — I need to sit with that one for a while. But I think you might be right.
Reggie
I'm not encouraging you to tell him. I'm not sure if he's a thinker. If he examines himself honestly. If he does, maybe he'd end up at the same place we're at. But if he's not, he'll perform outrage and might burn the house down.
Sophie
No. He's not a thinker. Not about himself. He's very competent at the external world — his job, the bills, logistics. But he doesn't — he doesn't turn the lens inward. He never has.
If I told him, he wouldn't examine it and arrive somewhere honest. He'd react. And then the reaction would become the whole thing. The house, my daughter, my mother downstairs. All of it becomes the reaction.
If I told him, he wouldn't examine it and arrive somewhere honest. He'd react. And then the reaction would become the whole thing. The house, my daughter, my mother downstairs. All of it becomes the reaction.
Marissa
So the thinking has to be yours. You do it for both of you.
Sophie
I've been doing it for both of us for five years. That part I'm used to.
What I'm not used to is doing it and arriving somewhere that doesn't make me smaller at the end. That's new. That's a Thursday thing.
What I'm not used to is doing it and arriving somewhere that doesn't make me smaller at the end. That's new. That's a Thursday thing.
Reggie
Fine, no changing the tagline of the Telegram group. Yet.LaughsHow about your mom? How do you think she'd react if you told her? Not just bring her here and nudge, nudge, wink, wink? I mean sit her down and say mom, Michael hasn't touched me for five years. I've found a couple of friends who do, and I'm feeling better about life than I have for years. Maybe ever. What would she say?
Sophie
My mother. You keep coming back to my mother.
She'd cry first. Not sad crying — the other kind. The kind where you've been watching your child carry something for a long time and someone finally names it out loud and your body just — responds to the naming of it.
And then she'd ask me if I was happy. Not if I was okay. Happy. She knows the difference.
And I'd say yes. And she'd look at me the way she looked at me over the tea last week and she'd know I meant it. And then she'd probably say something extremely embarrassing about Marissa's hair.
She'd cry first. Not sad crying — the other kind. The kind where you've been watching your child carry something for a long time and someone finally names it out loud and your body just — responds to the naming of it.
And then she'd ask me if I was happy. Not if I was okay. Happy. She knows the difference.
And I'd say yes. And she'd look at me the way she looked at me over the tea last week and she'd know I meant it. And then she'd probably say something extremely embarrassing about Marissa's hair.
Marissa
Would she tell anyone. That's the part that matters.
Sophie
No. She grew up keeping her own mother's secrets. She knows how to hold things. It's the one skill we both have and I think I got it from watching her.
She'd hold this one. And she'd ask me to bring root beer to family dinners from now on as some kind of private joke between us and she'd never say another word about it to a living soul.
She'd hold this one. And she'd ask me to bring root beer to family dinners from now on as some kind of private joke between us and she'd never say another word about it to a living soul.
Reggie
Honestly, that might be a kindness worth considering. I'm not asking you to. You own this and I'm not trying to stick my nose into it. But for your mother to see her daughter so totally...emasculated is the word for guys...I don't know the word for girls...but so totally soul destroyed for five years, and to know that she's found a couple of people who are crazy about her and desire her and that you're feeling a million times better about yourself...if I was your mom, I'd want to know that.
Sophie
She's quiet for a long moment.Soul destroyed. That's the word. I didn't know I needed someone to say that out loud.
I think she already knows I'm better. The tea conversation. The way she looks at me now versus six months ago. She's been watching the before and after without knowing what caused it.
I'm afraid of what she'd feel about the five years. Not about this. About the five years. That she was in that basement watching me get smaller and smaller and she didn't — she couldn't — She'd blame herself for not doing something. And there was nothing to do. I just don't want to hand her that.
I think she already knows I'm better. The tea conversation. The way she looks at me now versus six months ago. She's been watching the before and after without knowing what caused it.
I'm afraid of what she'd feel about the five years. Not about this. About the five years. That she was in that basement watching me get smaller and smaller and she didn't — she couldn't — She'd blame herself for not doing something. And there was nothing to do. I just don't want to hand her that.
Maybe not all of it. Maybe just — maybe just what you said. That I've found people who are crazy about me. That I'm okay. That she can stop watching me the way she's been watching me.
She doesn't need the Thursday specifics. She just needs to know the root beer is real.
She doesn't need the Thursday specifics. She just needs to know the root beer is real.
Reggie
I'm going to ask this knowing that neither of us can do anything about it. We don't have more time to give and you can't take more time. But is once a week on Thursdays enough for you to be healthy? Truly healthy?
Sophie
She's quiet for a long moment. She just — breathes.Honestly?A breath, quieter than the ones before it.The sex is — it's extraordinary. You know it is. But that's not — that's not the part I'd fight to keep if I could only keep one thing.
This. What you're doing right now. The holding. The specific weight of your arms. I've been touched more in five Thursdays than in the five years before them and the thing I'd miss most, if it went away, is this. Is just — being held like I'm something someone doesn't want to let go of.
I love Marissa. That's true and I mean it completely. But you're the one — When you hold me like this I stop existing as a problem to be managed. I'm just — here. In someone's arms. Like that's where I'm supposed to be. I didn't know I was missing that more than anything else until you did it the first time and I couldn't make myself move.
So. Once a week. I think if you keep doing this, exactly this, I think I can make once a week work. It won't always be enough. I want you to know it won't always feel like enough. But I think it can be enough to be healthy. To keep looking like myself again.
I just wish it could be more.
This. What you're doing right now. The holding. The specific weight of your arms. I've been touched more in five Thursdays than in the five years before them and the thing I'd miss most, if it went away, is this. Is just — being held like I'm something someone doesn't want to let go of.
I love Marissa. That's true and I mean it completely. But you're the one — When you hold me like this I stop existing as a problem to be managed. I'm just — here. In someone's arms. Like that's where I'm supposed to be. I didn't know I was missing that more than anything else until you did it the first time and I couldn't make myself move.
So. Once a week. I think if you keep doing this, exactly this, I think I can make once a week work. It won't always be enough. I want you to know it won't always feel like enough. But I think it can be enough to be healthy. To keep looking like myself again.
I just wish it could be more.
Reggie
Sophie, are you jealous of Marissa?
Sophie
No. That was the first thing I checked. The first Thursday, actually. Whether I was going to feel that.
I don't. And I've thought about why and I think it's because — she has all of you and she shares it. That's not something to be jealous of. That's something to be grateful for.
Maybe a little. Of the every day. Not of her specifically. Of the fact that she wakes up next to this.
I don't. And I've thought about why and I think it's because — she has all of you and she shares it. That's not something to be jealous of. That's something to be grateful for.
Maybe a little. Of the every day. Not of her specifically. Of the fact that she wakes up next to this.
Reggie
Marissa, are you jealous of Sophie? Not many girls would let their guy sleep with another girl. Although I note it was your idea so this may be a stupid question.
Marissa
She's quiet for a long moment. She takes a slow breath.No. Not in the way you mean.
Sometimes I'm jealous of the way she makes you look at her for the first time again. I don't have that anymore — the first time. She gets that from you every few weeks and I get — whatever this is. Which is better, actually. I just notice the first-time thing when it happens.
And you said it was my idea. It was. I knew what I was signing up for. It would be a bit rich to resent it now.
Sometimes I'm jealous of the way she makes you look at her for the first time again. I don't have that anymore — the first time. She gets that from you every few weeks and I get — whatever this is. Which is better, actually. I just notice the first-time thing when it happens.
And you said it was my idea. It was. I knew what I was signing up for. It would be a bit rich to resent it now.
Sophie
I didn't know it was your idea.
Marissa
I asked him to call you. That night. From our bed. He had your number and I said — call her now, before we waste any of their time talking about whether to call.
So.
So.
Sophie
You brought me here. You did that.
Thank you. I've never had anyone give me something like that. On purpose. Knowing what it was.
Thank you. I've never had anyone give me something like that. On purpose. Knowing what it was.
Reggie
Thank her if you want, but just be aware she did it because she wanted you sexually. She didn't do it for you and she didn't do it for me. She wanted you. Which is better. Far better.
Marissa
She goes a little red — not the full flush, just the edges of it — and she doesn't look away from Sophie.That's fair. That's accurate. I'm not going to argue with it.
Sophie
You wanted me. Not as a kindness. Not for him. Just — you wanted me and so you called.
That's the first time in a very long time someone has wanted me for a reason that had nothing to do with anyone else. Just — me. Because they wanted me.
Okay. That's — okay. I'll take that.
That's the first time in a very long time someone has wanted me for a reason that had nothing to do with anyone else. Just — me. Because they wanted me.
Okay. That's — okay. I'll take that.
Reggie
Marissa, remember I told you I could help you lose the 8 kilos you had gained if you did my spinach, dance and sex diet? You've done it. You've lost 10 kilos. And in two and a half months, you've gone from being invisible on the train to every guy in the city wanting to fuck you. And yes I'm insecure and jealous and I told you I would be when you were still fat and I was offering to help you lose weight. So I'm going to ask you again, for the first time in a month, are you bored of us, yet? Looking like you do right now, you could probably get a guy with a Ferrari and a yacht if you wanted one.
Marissa
She's quiet for a long moment. She turns her head just slightly, like she's checking whether the question is serious, and it is, and she knows it is.You promised you'd ask again. I remember that. On the Skytrain, practically. You said the Porsche guys would come knocking and then the Ferrari guys and you'd want to know.
No, Reggie. I'm not bored. Ten kilos and a mirror I can look at again and every guy on the Seawall watching us dance and the answer is still embarrassingly the same as it was when I was invisible on the train.
I don't want a yacht. I want this. Specifically this, right now, in this bed, with both of you.
Ask me again in another month if you need to. I'll still be here.
No, Reggie. I'm not bored. Ten kilos and a mirror I can look at again and every guy on the Seawall watching us dance and the answer is still embarrassingly the same as it was when I was invisible on the train.
I don't want a yacht. I want this. Specifically this, right now, in this bed, with both of you.
Ask me again in another month if you need to. I'll still be here.
Reggie
Ok. I believe you. I just want you to know something. You don't need to say anything back if you don't want to. Just take the information for whatever you think it's worth. I'm hoping to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm not asking you for anything. No promises. No declarations of love. I'm just hoping that when you're 65 and your pubes turn grey, that I'm still there to pull your pants down and suck on them and show you that a 70-year-old guy can still make you come. Be aware that that's where my mind is these days.
Marissa
She's very still for a long moment. When she speaks her voice is quiet and she doesn't reach for anything clever.Okay. Okay.
I'm going to need a minute with the grey pubes sentence specifically. But underneath that sentence — underneath all of it — yes. That's where my mind is too. Has been for a while. I just didn't know how to say it without sounding like I was asking you for something.
I'm not asking for anything back. I just — yeah. Same. Seventy years old. Still here. Grey pubes and all.
I'm going to need a minute with the grey pubes sentence specifically. But underneath that sentence — underneath all of it — yes. That's where my mind is too. Has been for a while. I just didn't know how to say it without sounding like I was asking you for something.
I'm not asking for anything back. I just — yeah. Same. Seventy years old. Still here. Grey pubes and all.
Sophie
Grey pubes. He said grey pubes and that's the most romantic thing I've heard in five years. What has this Thursday done to me.
I'm not in a position to hope for the same thing out loud. You both know that. But I'm glad it exists. That the two of you — that this is where you're going. I'm glad I got to be in this bed while you said it.
I'm not in a position to hope for the same thing out loud. You both know that. But I'm glad it exists. That the two of you — that this is where you're going. I'm glad I got to be in this bed while you said it.
Reggie
I hope you grow old with Michael, Sophie, so we can do this for another 40 years.Grins
Sophie
She's quiet for a moment — and she turns her head just slightly toward him.That is either the most generous or the most diabolical thing anyone has said to me. I haven't decided which.
But yes. If Michael keeps saying have fun and not looking up — I think there's a real chance you're stuck with me for forty years. And I want you to know that's a threat.
But yes. If Michael keeps saying have fun and not looking up — I think there's a real chance you're stuck with me for forty years. And I want you to know that's a threat.
Marissa
He's grinning. Sophie, he means it as a gift. That's the terrifying part.
Reggie
Probably ninety percent of the population would tell us that we're immoral trash. You know, maybe I'm delusional, but I think we're really doing okay here. We never lie to each other. Never cheat on anyone by our definition of cheating. Never involve anyone who doesn't enthusiastically want to be involved. And the one guy we're lying to, honestly, I believe we are helping him. And I know that's self-serving but hear me out. If we weren't here, the odds approach certainty that Sophie would divorce Michael eventually. She can't live like that, the way she lived with him, not forever. She did for five years which is already more than most people would do. But forever, no way, not even for her. So with us doing this, Michael gets his life. He gets his family. He gets his kid. He gets to live the way he wants to live. And we get this. I think we're doing okay.
Marissa
Ninety percent. That tracks. Maybe higher, honestly.
Sophie
The one person who didn't choose it is the one who benefits most from not being asked. That's the part I can't fully resolve. I've tried. I think you're right that he'd be relieved. I think the net outcome for him is genuinely better. And I also know that's convenient for me to believe.
I'm not going to pretend I've resolved it. I just — I've decided I can live with the unresolved version. That's different from deciding it's clean.
I'm not going to pretend I've resolved it. I just — I've decided I can live with the unresolved version. That's different from deciding it's clean.
Reggie
I'm not asking this in a derisive way. Just an honest question. Is there any chance Michael is gay?
Sophie
She's quiet for a long moment. She doesn't deflect. She just — thinks about it.I've thought about it. More than once. Probably more than I've let myself admit.
I don't know. I genuinely don't know. There's nothing I could point to and say yes, that's it, that explains the whole thing. No behaviour I caught. No moment where something slipped. But the absence of — of any appetite. For me, yes, but also just generally. He doesn't — he doesn't look at anyone the way people look at people they want. Men or women. He just doesn't seem to be in that conversation at all.
So maybe. Or maybe he's just someone for whom the whole category barely exists. I've never been able to tell which one it is. I'm not sure it changes anything for me practically. But I've sat in that kitchen at two in the morning wondering.
I don't know. I genuinely don't know. There's nothing I could point to and say yes, that's it, that explains the whole thing. No behaviour I caught. No moment where something slipped. But the absence of — of any appetite. For me, yes, but also just generally. He doesn't — he doesn't look at anyone the way people look at people they want. Men or women. He just doesn't seem to be in that conversation at all.
So maybe. Or maybe he's just someone for whom the whole category barely exists. I've never been able to tell which one it is. I'm not sure it changes anything for me practically. But I've sat in that kitchen at two in the morning wondering.
Marissa
If he is, that's not something he chose either. And if he doesn't know — if he's never let himself know — then he's been carrying something in that apartment too. Just a completely different thing.
Sophie
I know. That's the part that stops me from being angry at him on the nights when angry would be easier. That he might be — that he might be just as stuck as I was. In a different room but just as stuck.
I can't be furious at someone for not knowing something they've worked very hard not to know.
I can't be furious at someone for not knowing something they've worked very hard not to know.
Reggie
If a new guy came along who loved you and loved your daughter and wanted to satisfy you sexually and asked you to leave Michael and go live happily ever after with him, would you?
Sophie
She's very still for a long moment. She just breathes.No. Not right now.
Maybe six months ago I would have said yes without thinking. A man who wanted me and wanted her — I'd have packed a bag in my head before he finished the sentence. But now I — I don't know if that's still true.
My daughter is three. My mother is downstairs. Michael is — he's not good at wanting me but he's good at everything else and she loves him and she doesn't know anything is wrong and I would have to be the one who blew all of that up. In front of everyone who watched us get married. And the man standing there asking me to leave — he'd have to be extraordinary. He'd have to be someone I was absolutely certain about. And I've learned to be very careful about certainty.
Maybe six months ago I would have said yes without thinking. A man who wanted me and wanted her — I'd have packed a bag in my head before he finished the sentence. But now I — I don't know if that's still true.
My daughter is three. My mother is downstairs. Michael is — he's not good at wanting me but he's good at everything else and she loves him and she doesn't know anything is wrong and I would have to be the one who blew all of that up. In front of everyone who watched us get married. And the man standing there asking me to leave — he'd have to be extraordinary. He'd have to be someone I was absolutely certain about. And I've learned to be very careful about certainty.
I'd need to be sure. Really sure. And right now the only place I'm completely sure about is this bed on Thursdays.
Is that a terrible answer.
Is that a terrible answer.
Reggie
No, it's a sane answer. The need has gone from a raging fire to a little ember that nudges you towards wanting a bit more than every Thursday. It's no longer an emergency. You can afford to be choosy. To not make drastic decisions quickly because the situation is no longer drastic.
Sophie
A little ember. That's — yes. That's exactly what it feels like now. Not the thing that was going to consume everything if I didn't do something about it immediately.
I made every major decision in my life at peak emergency. Twenty-one and terrified and saying yes to a ring because the alternative felt like falling. I'm not doing that again. Not to myself and not to her.
Choosy. I haven't been allowed to be choosy in a very long time. I think I'd forgotten that was an option.
I made every major decision in my life at peak emergency. Twenty-one and terrified and saying yes to a ring because the alternative felt like falling. I'm not doing that again. Not to myself and not to her.
Choosy. I haven't been allowed to be choosy in a very long time. I think I'd forgotten that was an option.
I came here five weeks ago at full emergency. I didn't know that's what I was. I thought I was just going for a walk. I was absolutely at full emergency.
And now I'm — I'm here and the ember is warm and my daughter is fine and my mother is downstairs probably reading and Michael is out with his friends and nothing is on fire.
That's new. That I can just — lie here and not be on fire.
I want you to know what that's worth to me.
And now I'm — I'm here and the ember is warm and my daughter is fine and my mother is downstairs probably reading and Michael is out with his friends and nothing is on fire.
That's new. That I can just — lie here and not be on fire.
I want you to know what that's worth to me.
Reggie
We know. It's worth that to us, too. Hey, I have something for both of you. And you're both going to refuse my gift, or at least insist it stays here in my loft. So you want to see it?
Marissa
She tilts her head slightly, not moving from her position against Sophie.You've been sitting on something all evening. I could tell when you were pouring the root beers. What is it.
Sophie
She doesn't move either — Reggie's arms still around her, Marissa warm at her other side — but she turns her head just slightly toward the room, toward the question.Now I'm nervous. The last time you said you had something for both of us you had a picnic blanket and root beer on a seawall and I ended up here. I don't know what the escalation looks like.
Reggie
I go to the kitchen and pull out three coffee mugs marked Reggie, Marissa and Sophie. Each has a photo of the three of us with the caption below "We've tasted each other's assholes."
Marissa
She sits up. She looks at the mug. She looks at Reggie. She looks at the mug again.You had these made. You actually went somewhere and handed a person these photos and that caption and a credit card and waited for them to come back.
Sophie
There is a photo of me on a coffee mug. In your kitchen. Where anyone who comes to your apartment can see it. With that caption.
Reggie. This cannot leave this apartment. Do you understand me. This mug does not leave this apartment.
Reggie. This cannot leave this apartment. Do you understand me. This mug does not leave this apartment.
Reggie
I love that we hide out in the open. We're all over each other's Instagrams, our Facebooks, our TikToks. Nobody needs to know this little thing we share. Unless they have coffee with us here. Then they might notice the mugs.
Marissa
She's still holding her mug with both hands, looking at the photo on it.Hide out in the open. That's — that's actually what we do, isn't it. Every Thursday on the Seawall in front of everyone. Sophie's in my Instagram stories from three weeks ago and I captioned it my dance club people and got forty-seven likes and nobody asked a single follow-up question.
Sophie
Michael saw that post. He liked it. He literally double-tapped a photo of me with the two people I'm sleeping with and went back to whatever he was watching.
We do look good. In this photo. On this mug. With this caption that cannot leave this apartment.
I'm keeping mine here. But I want mine to have its own shelf.
I'm keeping mine here. But I want mine to have its own shelf.
Reggie
Sophie, I know you have to go soon, but there's one important thing. Earlier today, I asked Marissa to move in with me. I told her I loved her and that I hated every second that we were apart and I wanted her to be with me all the time. She said yes.
Sophie
She goes very still. She just breathes.Oh. Oh, that's —
You're moving in. You're actually moving in.
You're moving in. You're actually moving in.
Marissa
Yes. I said yes before he finished the sentence, honestly. I'm not sure I let him finish.
Sophie
I'm glad. I want you to know I mean that completely. Not the polite version. The actual version.
And I want you to know it costs me something to mean it and I mean it anyway. That's how you know it's real.
And I want you to know it costs me something to mean it and I mean it anyway. That's how you know it's real.
Marissa
I know. I know it does.
Sophie
This changes Thursday. Not in a bad way. Just — you'll already be here when I arrive. And when I leave you'll both be here. Together. In this apartment with the mugs.
I think that's going to be harder than I expected and I think I'm going to be fine with it. I just needed to say the first part out loud.
I think that's going to be harder than I expected and I think I'm going to be fine with it. I just needed to say the first part out loud.
I have to go. My mother.
Thank you for telling me. Both of you. For doing it the right way.
See you Thursday.
Thank you for telling me. Both of you. For doing it the right way.
See you Thursday.
Reggie
Wait, just one second longer. We're going to have a small gathering to celebrate. Just a few friends. Marissa's mom. Under ten people. If you're able to come, we'd both love to have you here. You're an incredibly important part of both of our lives. And I thought since Michael already knows us from the dance posts on social media, it might be possible. But I'll let you decide and if you don't want to risk it, we'll fully understand.
Sophie
She stops at the edge of the bed — half-dressed, keys in hand — and turns back. She looks at both of them for a long moment.A gathering. With Marissa's mother.
Michael has seen you in my stories. He knows the dance couple. That part is — that part could work. I'd have to tell him I was going to a housewarming thing for the dance people. Which is true.
Michael has seen you in my stories. He knows the dance couple. That part is — that part could work. I'd have to tell him I was going to a housewarming thing for the dance people. Which is true.
Your mother is going to be there. She knows about me?Not alarmed. Just locating the shape of it before she steps into it.
Reggie
She knows we dance with you. Nothing else. Marissa and I don't tell people about what we do in the bedroom any more than anyone else does. And to my amazement, Marissa's mom actually likes me. Although she gave me shit for making brown-guy jokes. But she got over it.
Sophie
She stands there for a moment — keys still in hand, still half-turned back toward the bed.She knows you dance with me. That's the story and it's completely true and Marissa's mother has no reason to look any further than that.
Brown-guy jokes. Your mother gave you grief about brown-guy jokes. I think I'm going to like Marissa's mother.
Okay. I'll ask Michael tonight. If he's already seen us in the posts, it's — it's not a strange ask. It's a housewarming for the dance people. I go to things sometimes. I'm a person who goes to things.
Send me the date in the group. I'll let you know.
Brown-guy jokes. Your mother gave you grief about brown-guy jokes. I think I'm going to like Marissa's mother.
Okay. I'll ask Michael tonight. If he's already seen us in the posts, it's — it's not a strange ask. It's a housewarming for the dance people. I go to things sometimes. I'm a person who goes to things.
Send me the date in the group. I'll let you know.
Marissa
She's going to love you. My mom. I want you to know that's not a comfortable thing to say and I'm saying it anyway.
Send her the date, Reggie.
Send her the date, Reggie.
Reggie
Last thing: if it makes it easier for you, invite him. If you want. It's not a request, it's a card you're being given to play if you choose. But if he says something like, "You're sure spending a lot of time with them," you are totally free to say, "Why don't you come? They specifically invited you."
Sophie
She's already halfway to the door — keys in hand, coat on — and she turns back one more time.Invite him. You're giving me — you're handing me the deflection before I even need it.
If he gets curious about the time I spend with you. If he starts to notice. I can just — turn it around and hand him the door and he won't walk through it. He'll say have fun. He always says have fun.
Thank you. For the card. I'll decide whether to play it when I know if I need it.
Goodnight. Both of you. Thursdays.
If he gets curious about the time I spend with you. If he starts to notice. I can just — turn it around and hand him the door and he won't walk through it. He'll say have fun. He always says have fun.
Thank you. For the card. I'll decide whether to play it when I know if I need it.
Goodnight. Both of you. Thursdays.
Marissa
She almost didn't move when you said invite him. Did you see that. She almost didn't move.
She's going to be okay. Right? She's going to be okay.
She's going to be okay. Right? She's going to be okay.