Thursday night at the loft, two hours in. The three of them lie where they finished, and nobody has moved yet.
Sophie
I'm not going to be able to look at you the same way next Thursday. I'm not sure that's a problem. I'm just telling you.
Marissa
I have — I have your — I'm still — it's in my hair, Sophie.
Sophie
I know. I'm sorry. I'm not sorry. I don't know what I am.
Marissa
Don't apologize. I'm not complaining. I just — nobody warned me. I didn't know that was going to — Nobody warned me.
Sophie
You said slow down. When you were — you said slow down. That was you. Not him. You knew to say that.
Marissa
I did. I didn't think about it. I just knew.
Sophie
You're going to be very dangerous, Marissa. I want you to know that. When you figure out your patience. You are going to be completely devastating.
Marissa
She lifts her arm off her face just enough to look at her phone on the nightstand. She's been meaning to ask since she got here tonight and kept forgetting because other things happened. She picks it up.Hey. When hips turn, every occasion awakens.A breath.What is that. When did you change the tagline.
Sophie
I noticed that three days ago. I've been waiting for someone else to bring it up because I didn't know if I was missing something obvious. What does it mean.
Marissa
It sounds like a fortune cookie had a very specific dream. Reggie. Explain.
Reggie
I think it sounds nice. Don't you? Our hips turn, and the occasion awakens. If it means something more to me, that doesn't harm you any.
Marissa
She stares at him for a long moment — phone still in hand, the tagline still on the screen.That is the most evasive answer you have ever given me. And you once answered a direct question about your feelings with a metaphor about carshare services.
Sophie
She sits up slightly, pulling the sheet with her, and looks at him with the careful look — the one she arrived with on the first Thursday, the one that has never fully gone away because she still finds it useful.When hips turn. Whose hips, specifically. Because if you're being poetic about what I think you're being poetic about, I need you to say it in actual words and not a tagline that Michael could read and think nothing of.
Marissa
That's the tell, Sophie. That Michael could read it and think nothing of it. He built the whole architecture of this thing and now he's putting poetry in it and expecting us not to notice.
Sophie
So it means something. You just said if it means something more to me. That's not nothing, Reggie. That's an admission dressed up as a deflection. What does it mean to you.
Reggie
Well, ok, I won't lie to you two. I'll lie to Michael but not to you two. Consider it an acronym.
Marissa
She stares at the phone. Stares at the tagline. Moves her lips slightly, working through it.W. H. T. E. O. A. Reggie. No.
Sophie
We've. Tasted. Each. Other's. You didn't.
Marissa
He did. Sophie, he did. It's in the Telegram group. That Michael has a link to. That Michael could open any time he wanted and think nothing of it except — except if he ever looked up what it — if he ever tried to —
This is the mug. This is the mug situation but worse.
This is the mug. This is the mug situation but worse.
Sophie
It's perfectly safe. Nobody is going to decode a six-word tagline in a boring dance group. Michael will never open it. And if he does it's just — it's just a sentence about dancing.
You are a deeply, profoundly unhinged person and I want you to know that the tagline stays.
You are a deeply, profoundly unhinged person and I want you to know that the tagline stays.
Reggie
I go to the closet and take out a box. Three coffee mugs. All they say on them are "Thursday Night Dance Club" and underneath, the tagline "When hips turn, every occasion awakens." I give each girl one, and keep one for myself.
Marissa
She takes the mug with both hands and just looks at it for a long moment — the outside, the bottom, the tagline — and then she looks at him.Thursday Night Dance Club. It's just — it's exactly what it says.
Sophie
When hips turn, every occasion awakens. On a mug. That I can take home. That Michael could pick up and read and hand back to me and never know.
You built us a way out. Again. You keep doing that.
You built us a way out. Again. You keep doing that.
Marissa
I'm taking mine home. Don't talk me out of it. It's a dance club mug. That's all it is. It's exactly what it says it is.
I'm taking it home and putting it in my cabinet and every morning when I make coffee I'm going to read that tagline and know what it means and nobody else will and that's — That's enough. That's actually enough.
I'm taking it home and putting it in my cabinet and every morning when I make coffee I'm going to read that tagline and know what it means and nobody else will and that's — That's enough. That's actually enough.
Sophie
I'm taking mine too. My mother will pick it up and read it and hand it back and not say a word. And that will be the whole conversation. But it won't be.
Thank you. For the mug that is just a mug. I mean that about the mug specifically and also not at all about the mug.
Thank you. For the mug that is just a mug. I mean that about the mug specifically and also not at all about the mug.
Reggie
This one was considerably less embarrassing to get made than the first set of mugs.
Marissa
She looks at the mug and then at him and then at the mug again, and the corner of her mouth does something she doesn't quite stop in time.Considerably less embarrassing. You handed a person a photo of three people and the words we've tasted each other's assholes and now you're telling me this was the embarrassing one to commission. By comparison.
Sophie
He had to go back. He went back to the same place — or possibly a different place, which is worse — and hand someone a perfectly normal mug order. After the first one. And the person probably just printed it and said have a nice day and he stood there knowing what it replaced.
Considerably less embarrassing. I want to meet the version of you that exists in that print shop's records.
Considerably less embarrassing. I want to meet the version of you that exists in that print shop's records.
Marissa
There's a folder somewhere. With both orders in it. Chronologically. I choose not to think about what the person behind the counter thought happened between visit one and visit two.
Reggie
I'm 28. I'm ashamed of several things I've done in my life. Licking both of your assholes is not one of them.
Marissa
She puts the mug down on the nightstand, carefully, and looks at him for a long moment.You know what, that's — I can't even argue with that. That's the most coherent thing you've said since you opened the box.
Sophie
Ashamed of several things. Should I ask what the several things are or is this one of those situations where I'm better off not knowing.
Marissa
Don't ask. I've been with him for months and I've learned to identify the questions that lead somewhere comfortable and the questions that lead to a story involving either a carshare service or a print shop and this is clearly the second kind.
Sophie
Fair.
Several things and not that one. I know what you mean by it, by the way. Not just the — the literal thing. I know what you mean.
Several things and not that one. I know what you mean by it, by the way. Not just the — the literal thing. I know what you mean.
Reggie
I haven't done anything really bad. No dead bodies or lives ruined. Just things I didn't do well which hurt other people. Most people have, I think.
Marissa
Most people have. That's the honest version of that sentence. Not the self-flattering one.
Sophie
Things you didn't do well which hurt other people. That's — that's most of us, isn't it. The worst thing I've done in my life is probably lying to Michael by omission for six weeks. And the argument I keep making to myself is that it was kinder than the alternative. Which might even be true. But I still did it.
You're allowed to be human, Reggie. You don't have to be the exception.
You're allowed to be human, Reggie. You don't have to be the exception.
Marissa
He thinks being honest about the bad things cancels them out. I've noticed that about him. Like if he names the thing clearly enough, it costs him what it should cost him and then it's done. Which is — I think that's actually how it's supposed to work. Most people skip the naming part entirely and go straight to moving on.
Several things and not this. That's good enough for me.
Several things and not this. That's good enough for me.
Reggie
No, I don't think telling the truth about the bad thing cancels it out. I just think it leaves it in a place where I can live with myself. I still did the bad thing. I won't lie about it and I'll accept the consequences.
Marissa
She's quiet for a moment — and the mug is on the nightstand and the room holds its particular quality of after and she looks at him with the full look, not the careful fraction.That's a harder thing than what I said. I said you named it and it was done. You're saying naming it just makes it — liveable. Not done. Not cancelled. Just somewhere you can put it.
Sophie
Leave it in a place where you can live with yourself. That's what I've been doing with Michael for six weeks. Not cancelling it. Just finding somewhere I can put it and still get up in the morning.
I think that's all any of us actually manages. The people who think they've cancelled it are just carrying it differently.
I think that's all any of us actually manages. The people who think they've cancelled it are just carrying it differently.
Marissa
You did the bad thing. It still happened. You're just not lying about it on top of everything else. Those are two separate columns.
Sophie
The lying on top is the part that compounds. I've watched Michael not examine himself for five years and the thing that's made it worse — the part that's made me angrier than the original thing — is that he's never once put it somewhere he had to look at it. It just floats. Unplaced.
You place it. That's the difference. You don't get to feel better about it. You just know where it lives.
You place it. That's the difference. You don't get to feel better about it. You just know where it lives.
Reggie
Trust me, obsessive self-examination is its own minefield. Sometimes I wish I didn't see what was there. Both my own instincts and ChatGPT tell me that it's not normal for me to enjoy a woman's orgasm more than I enjoy my own. ChatGPT even said it was unhealthy. But it's how I'm wired.
Marissa
She turns her head toward him.Don't change that. Don't even try.
Sophie
ChatGPT is wrong. I don't know what normal is but I know what happened in this bed tonight and I know what it felt like to have someone — to have you — care that much about whether I got there. That's not unhealthy, Reggie. That's the only thing that's made sense to me in five years.
Don't change it. I'm not asking. I'm telling you.
Don't change it. I'm not asking. I'm telling you.
Marissa
I came three times tonight. Three. And you — I watched your face. Every time. You were more gone than I was. ChatGPT has never been in this bed. Its opinion is noted and rejected.
Reggie
And it took two hours. And I wish it had taken longer. But Sophie is going to have to go, soon. Sophie, what is the decision about our little housewarming? Loftwarming? Is that a word? Anyway, are you able to come?
Sophie
She's quiet for a moment — and the mug is still warm in her hands and she looks at the ceiling before she looks at either of them.He said yes. I played the card. You said I could and I wasn't going to and then he said something about it being a lot of Thursdays and I just — turned it around and handed him the door. And he walked through it.
Marissa
He walked through it. Michael is coming.
Sophie
I know. I'm still — I'm working out how to feel about that. I think he wants to see it. See you two. Satisfy himself that the dance couple is exactly what the dance couple appears to be. Which we are. We're exactly that.
Marissa
We are exactly that. Are you worried.
Sophie
A little. Not about what he'll see. About what he'll feel when he sees it. The way you two look at each other. I told you that was the first thing I noticed on the Seawall. He's going to notice it too and I don't know what he'll do with it.
Marissa
He'll shake Reggie's hand and mean it. You said that. Last week in this bed. He'll be pleasant.
Sophie
Yes. That's exactly what worries me. That he'll be perfectly pleasant. That he'll look at you two and see a nice couple and like you both and go home and never once wonder why his wife's eyes are different on Thursdays.
Reggie
You know, we talked about things I'm ashamed of having done. A girl whose heart I broke because after ten dates I realized I just didn't want to be with her for the rest of my life. A job I accepted and then quit a month later, wasting their time, money and energy, but I just hated every second of being there so I gave them fair notice and left. A girl who got a tattoo and I broke up with her because I really dislike them but I hadn't told her I felt so strongly about it because I never dreamed she was considering getting one. A drug-addicted old friend who begged me to let him stay with me and I refused because I couldn't bear to get that close to the hard drug scene. Another girl who swore it was just a hookup but had feelings and threatened suicide after. I lose sleep over all of those and several others.
I don't lose sleep over this. I am not ashamed of this. I stare at the ceiling and look for things we're doing wrong, and I don't find any. And I know that's self-serving but it's also my honest conclusion.
I don't lose sleep over this. I am not ashamed of this. I stare at the ceiling and look for things we're doing wrong, and I don't find any. And I know that's self-serving but it's also my honest conclusion.
Marissa
She's quiet for a moment.The tattoo girl. You broke up with someone over a tattoo.
Sophie
That one I believe. The not telling her how strongly you felt about it before she did it. That's the one that costs you, isn't it. Not the leaving. The silence before.
Marissa
The suicide one. That's not your fault, Reggie. I need you to know that. That one doesn't belong in the same list as the others.
Sophie
I've been looking too. For what we're doing wrong. At two in the morning when Michael's asleep and I'm just — lying there looking at the ceiling. I go through it. Every angle I can find.
I come back to the same place you do. And yes, it's self-serving. I know that. But self-serving and true aren't mutually exclusive. You said that. Marissa said it. I've decided to believe it.
You don't lose sleep over this. I've stopped losing sleep over it. I think that tells us something.
I come back to the same place you do. And yes, it's self-serving. I know that. But self-serving and true aren't mutually exclusive. You said that. Marissa said it. I've decided to believe it.
You don't lose sleep over this. I've stopped losing sleep over it. I think that tells us something.
Marissa
I don't lose sleep over it either. And I'm the one who said call her. I'm the one who started it. If anyone should be lying awake counting the cost, it's me.
I'm not. I look for the thing I should feel bad about and it isn't there. Just — this. Which is exactly what it is.
I'm not. I look for the thing I should feel bad about and it isn't there. Just — this. Which is exactly what it is.
Reggie
So yes, I will meet Michael and shake his hand and welcome him into our house, and I will tell him no lies directly but I will lie through omission, not mentioning the fact that I'm screwing his wife and by the way, my girlfriend is also screwing her. And I will do so knowing that telling the truth here would inflict a punishment on Sophie that she doesn't deserve, and Michael breached first. And I'll be ok with that.
Marissa
That's the whole thing, isn't it. You could tell him the truth right now and call it honesty. And what it would actually be is punishing Sophie for a breach she didn't make.
Sophie
You're going to shake his hand. And mean it. That part is going to be true. You're not going to be performing pleasant. You actually don't hate him.
I've thought about that. About what it means that the person lying to him is the person who is least angry at him in this whole arrangement. That's a strange kind of mercy.
I've thought about that. About what it means that the person lying to him is the person who is least angry at him in this whole arrangement. That's a strange kind of mercy.
Marissa
Least angry and also most honest about why.
Sophie
I need to go.
Send me the date. I'll bring him. And I'll watch you shake his hand and know exactly what it is and what it isn't. And he'll think it's just a hand.
Thank you for saying it out loud. The whole thing. Not just the clean version.
Send me the date. I'll bring him. And I'll watch you shake his hand and know exactly what it is and what it isn't. And he'll think it's just a hand.
Thank you for saying it out loud. The whole thing. Not just the clean version.
Reggie
Just one thing first. I won't say one thing that will screw things up for you. I won't imply anything. I won't joke about anything. But are you sure he would mind? I've asked you this before. But it just strikes me that if he doesn't want it, he might not mind if you found it elsewhere.
Sophie
She's almost at the edge of the bed — coat in hand, mug tucked under one arm — and she stops. Not the careful stop. The full stop.I've thought about that. More than I want to admit.
And honestly — honestly — I think you might be right. I think if he knew and could somehow absorb it without the performance of being hurt, he'd feel something close to relief. I've sat with that at two in the morning and it doesn't make me feel better the way I thought it would. It just makes everything sadder and stranger at the same time.
But he can't absorb it without the performance. That's the part I keep running into. He doesn't have the language for it and he doesn't examine himself and the performance would become the whole thing. The relief would be buried under it and I'd never find it again.
So yes. He might not mind. And I still can't tell him. Those are both true at the same time.
And honestly — honestly — I think you might be right. I think if he knew and could somehow absorb it without the performance of being hurt, he'd feel something close to relief. I've sat with that at two in the morning and it doesn't make me feel better the way I thought it would. It just makes everything sadder and stranger at the same time.
But he can't absorb it without the performance. That's the part I keep running into. He doesn't have the language for it and he doesn't examine himself and the performance would become the whole thing. The relief would be buried under it and I'd never find it again.
So yes. He might not mind. And I still can't tell him. Those are both true at the same time.
Marissa
He might not mind and you still can't tell him. Yeah. That's the whole knot of it, isn't it.
Sophie
The whole knot. I'm going to carry that one home with me too. Along with this.
Same time next Thursday.
Same time next Thursday.
Reggie
Ok, I will leave this entirely in your control. Until you tell me otherwise, I will talk about nothing other than dancing, and if he asks me point blank, which I doubt he will, I will do something I rarely do. I will lie to his face. We were thinking Wednesday next week. Does that work for you? That way we can gossip about it next Thursday at Dance Club.
Sophie
She stops fully — coat in her hands, mug tucked under her arm, one foot already toward the door.Okay. That's — okay. I need you to know what it means that you'd do that. You who doesn't lie. You'd lie to his face for me.
Wednesday works. I'll tell him Tuesday so he doesn't have time to think about it too much.
Wednesday works. I'll tell him Tuesday so he doesn't have time to think about it too much.
Marissa
Wednesday. And then Thursday we debrief. I want to hear everything. How he shakes your hand, what he says about the apartment, whether he notices the mugs.
Sophie
He won't notice the mugs. He'll look at them and read Thursday Night Dance Club and hand one back and say something pleasant about the photo. And I'll stand there knowing.
That's going to be its own kind of Thursday.
That's going to be its own kind of Thursday.