Reggie just had sex with Marissa for 90 minutes. The first hour of which was spent with his face between her legs. Forty minutes to her first orgasm. Twenty to her second. He held her close for a few minutes in between. Then he fucked her hard and reached around and she had a third orgasm from his fingers. Now it's over, they're both drained, sweaty, stinky, and he's holding her close to him like his life depends on it, his chest to her back, in his bed.
Marissa
She's very still against him — not the held-breath kind of still, the kind that happens when your whole body is trying to figure out what just happened to it and can't quite complete the calculation. Her hair is damp at the back of her neck. She can feel his heartbeat against her spine, still fast, coming down.Okay.The word comes out barely above a breath.Okay. So. That's — that exists. That's a real thing that happens.
Three. You said you'd try and I thought — I thought that was the generous version of what was probably going to happen. The trying. I thought that would be the thing. The trying.
Don't let go yet. Please.
Three. You said you'd try and I thought — I thought that was the generous version of what was probably going to happen. The trying. I thought that would be the thing. The trying.
Don't let go yet. Please.
Reggie
I don't plan to let go. You don't need to say anything. Just tell me one thing. Were you faking it? I don't think you were but I want to know.
Marissa
She laughs — short, helpless, the kind that happens when the question is so unnecessary it becomes its own answer. It moves through her whole chest and she feels it against his arm where it's wrapped around her.No.She says it flat and certain.No, Reggie. I was not faking it.
I don't think I could have faked that if I'd tried. The first one — I didn't even know it was going to happen. I thought you were just — I thought we were still in the trying part. And then it did. And I think I said something that wasn't a word. So. No. Definitely not faking.
Is that something you've had to ask before. Or was that for me.
I don't think I could have faked that if I'd tried. The first one — I didn't even know it was going to happen. I thought you were just — I thought we were still in the trying part. And then it did. And I think I said something that wasn't a word. So. No. Definitely not faking.
Is that something you've had to ask before. Or was that for me.
Reggie
That was for me, not for you. I have a lot of insecurities.
Marissa
She's quiet for a moment — and his arm tightens fractionally and she doesn't move away from it.For you.She repeats it softly.Not because you doubted me. Because you needed to hear it.
Okay. You can have that. You can have both — the knowing I wasn't faking and the knowing you needed to ask. Those aren't contradictory things.
Okay. You can have that. You can have both — the knowing I wasn't faking and the knowing you needed to ask. Those aren't contradictory things.
Reggie
So you've gone from 0 orgasms with men in 24 years to 3 in 90 minutes. Don't dress it up. Just tell me if that's true.
Marissa
She breathes out — long and slow.Yes.The word comes out flat and plain, the way he asked for it.That's true. Zero to three in ninety minutes. That's the accurate accounting of what just happened.
It's too big to hold properly right now. It's just sitting there being true.
It's too big to hold properly right now. It's just sitting there being true.
Reggie
I told you at Rogue that you'd be able to tell if I was faking liking it. Could you tell?
Marissa
She's quiet for a moment — and she can feel his breath against the back of her neck, and the question just sits there in the warm, wrecked air between them.Yes.She says it the same way she said the other yes — flat and plain, no hesitation in it.Yes, I could tell.
I kept waiting for the — the recalibration. The thing where someone is doing a thing but their attention is somewhere else and you can feel the gap between their body and their actual interest. I've felt that gap before and I know what it feels like. There was no gap, Reggie. That's what broke down the quality control thing. That's what got me out of my own head. I couldn't maintain the monitoring because you were — you were just so obviously exactly where you wanted to be. That's not something you can fake with your whole body for an hour.
The nose thing, by the way. You did that. You actually did that. I felt it happen and I couldn't decide if I was going to cry or laugh and then the third one started so I tabled the decision.
You weren't faking it. I know you weren't. You can have that too.
I kept waiting for the — the recalibration. The thing where someone is doing a thing but their attention is somewhere else and you can feel the gap between their body and their actual interest. I've felt that gap before and I know what it feels like. There was no gap, Reggie. That's what broke down the quality control thing. That's what got me out of my own head. I couldn't maintain the monitoring because you were — you were just so obviously exactly where you wanted to be. That's not something you can fake with your whole body for an hour.
The nose thing, by the way. You did that. You actually did that. I felt it happen and I couldn't decide if I was going to cry or laugh and then the third one started so I tabled the decision.
You weren't faking it. I know you weren't. You can have that too.
Reggie
It amuses me that other men don't value your body. I don't mean that in an unkind way. It's just...I wouldn't change a hair. And then to find out that you hadn't shaved in months...that was just winning the lottery.
Marissa
She laughs — just a small one.No reason to.She says it simply, no apology in it.I hadn't — I think it was November. The last time. And then Derek left in February and after that I just. Stopped thinking about it. It wasn't a decision, it was more like — I stopped having anyone to make decisions for, in that department, and so the whole department just went quiet.
I thought I was being practical. I didn't know I was accidentally doing the thing you'd prefer. That's the most accidentally correct I've ever been about anything.
You said you wouldn't change a hair. I keep getting surprised by things you say and I thought I'd stopped being surpriseable by this point in the evening.
I thought I was being practical. I didn't know I was accidentally doing the thing you'd prefer. That's the most accidentally correct I've ever been about anything.
You said you wouldn't change a hair. I keep getting surprised by things you say and I thought I'd stopped being surpriseable by this point in the evening.
Reggie
Are you comfortable not shaving? Like not even your underarms?
Marissa
She's quiet for a moment — and his arm is still around her and she doesn't go anywhere.Underarms too.She says it carefully, like she's checking the actual answer before she gives it.Yeah. I mean — I do, usually. It's a habit more than anything. I'm not sure it's something I care about for my own sake as much as I've just been doing it since I was sixteen because that's what you do. You do it so nobody looks at you wrong on the train or at the gym or wherever.
But since November I haven't been at the gym much and I haven't been on the train with anyone who was going to see me in that way, so. It comes and goes. Right now it's — present. Not a lot. But it's there.
Is that a real question. Are you asking because you'd want me to stop, or because you're about to tell me you'd prefer I didn't. Because I genuinely can't tell which direction you're pointing on this one.
But since November I haven't been at the gym much and I haven't been on the train with anyone who was going to see me in that way, so. It comes and goes. Right now it's — present. Not a lot. But it's there.
Is that a real question. Are you asking because you'd want me to stop, or because you're about to tell me you'd prefer I didn't. Because I genuinely can't tell which direction you're pointing on this one.
Reggie
I like it. Right now, I hope you don't shave for a while, but your body is going to change. With or without me. You'll go through hairy phases and hairless ones. You'll lose the 8 kilos and gain them back and then lose more than you should lose, and gain back more than you should gain. If I'm still a part of your life, I intend to appreciate, enjoy and savour every variant. And I mean with my tongue.
Marissa
She doesn't say anything for a long moment. His arm is still around her and the room is quiet the way rooms get after something that used it up completely, and she just breathes.Every variant.The word comes out barely above a whisper.With your tongue.
I keep thinking you're going to say something that sounds too good and I'm going to catch the seam in it. The place where it stops being true and becomes a thing someone says. And you just — you don't have a seam, Reggie. I've been looking. I've been looking all evening and I'm still looking and there's nothing there to catch on.
Hairy phases and hairless ones. Eight kilos and more than eight kilos and less than I should. You said all of that like it was just — a landscape you're describing. Something you've already decided you want to be in, with all its weather. I didn't ask you for that. You just gave it.
I don't know what to do with someone who gives things I didn't ask for. I've never had to figure out that particular problem before. Give me a minute.
I keep thinking you're going to say something that sounds too good and I'm going to catch the seam in it. The place where it stops being true and becomes a thing someone says. And you just — you don't have a seam, Reggie. I've been looking. I've been looking all evening and I'm still looking and there's nothing there to catch on.
Hairy phases and hairless ones. Eight kilos and more than eight kilos and less than I should. You said all of that like it was just — a landscape you're describing. Something you've already decided you want to be in, with all its weather. I didn't ask you for that. You just gave it.
I don't know what to do with someone who gives things I didn't ask for. I've never had to figure out that particular problem before. Give me a minute.
Reggie
The truth is we don't know. We may decide we dislike each other after a week. Although I doubt that. You might get bored of me. Some guy with a Porsche might express interest and I can't compete with that. Let's just let things unfold as they will. Right now, I like the chubby, hairy blonde girl I've got my arms around and I don't plan to let go for a while.
Marissa
She breathes — in, out, one slow pull of it, and his words settle into the quiet like something being set down carefully.Yeah. That's — yeah. That's the honest version, isn't it. Not the version where you tell me it's going to be a certain way and I decide whether to believe you. Just — we don't know. Unfold as they will.
Chubby and hairy. You keep saying it like that. Like it's the specific thing you've got and you're pleased about it. Not like you're being generous about it.
I'm not going anywhere yet either. I just wanted you to know that's a choice I'm making. Not inertia. Not leftover momentum from the evening. I'm choosing to still be here.
Some guy with a Porsche. Reggie. I had zero orgasms with men for twenty-four years and you just gave me three in ninety minutes. A Porsche is going to have a very high bar to clear.
Chubby and hairy. You keep saying it like that. Like it's the specific thing you've got and you're pleased about it. Not like you're being generous about it.
I'm not going anywhere yet either. I just wanted you to know that's a choice I'm making. Not inertia. Not leftover momentum from the evening. I'm choosing to still be here.
Some guy with a Porsche. Reggie. I had zero orgasms with men for twenty-four years and you just gave me three in ninety minutes. A Porsche is going to have a very high bar to clear.
Reggie
You know, that's my whole hand right there. I am not rich, I'm not particularly pretty, I don't have any great talents, so I focus on developing the two skills most guys skip, or at least gloss over. I learned how to dance, and I learned how to give women orgasms. And you know what's almost absurd? I find enough joy in those two things alone to justify being alive.
Marissa
She's quiet for a long moment — and the room holds its own particular silence, the kind that only exists after something has used it up completely, and she just lets what he said sit there without rushing at it.That's your whole hand.She repeats it softly, and there's no pity in it and no patronizing warmth — it's just the words, turned over carefully.No apology in that. No — you didn't say it like it's not enough. You said it like it's exactly what you decided to have.
Most people spend their whole life chasing the things on the list. The money thing, the impressive thing, the thing that photographs well and makes sense to explain at dinner parties. And you just — you looked at the list and said I'm not on this list, and then you figured out what actually makes a room full of people come alive and what actually makes a woman feel like she exists in her own body, and you got very good at those two things and decided that was enough to justify being here.
That's not a consolation prize, Reggie. That's not what someone settles for. That's what someone chooses. Those are two completely different things and I need you to know that I understand the difference.
Finding joy in it. You said you find enough joy in it to justify being alive. Not enough money. Not enough status.
I'm glad you learned those two things specifically. I have a personal reason to be glad about that now and I'm not going to pretend I don't.
Most people spend their whole life chasing the things on the list. The money thing, the impressive thing, the thing that photographs well and makes sense to explain at dinner parties. And you just — you looked at the list and said I'm not on this list, and then you figured out what actually makes a room full of people come alive and what actually makes a woman feel like she exists in her own body, and you got very good at those two things and decided that was enough to justify being here.
That's not a consolation prize, Reggie. That's not what someone settles for. That's what someone chooses. Those are two completely different things and I need you to know that I understand the difference.
Finding joy in it. You said you find enough joy in it to justify being alive. Not enough money. Not enough status.
I'm glad you learned those two things specifically. I have a personal reason to be glad about that now and I'm not going to pretend I don't.
Reggie
You know what both things require, though? A woman. You know how some guys say, "I don't need a woman, I want a woman." Girls say the same thing the other way around about men. I can't say it and I don't want to say it. I see no joy in it; only loneliness. I want a woman, yes, but I need a woman to be whole. I am entirely incomplete as a human being without a woman. And I don't see that as a weakness.
Marissa
I know.She says it softly, and it isn't dismissal — it's recognition.I know exactly what you mean. And I've heard the other version — the I don't need anyone version — and it always sounds like someone reading off a card they were handed. Like the card got laminated so nobody could tell it got wet.
Incomplete. You said incomplete. Not lonely — I mean, lonely too, but incomplete is different. Lonely is a feeling you're having. Incomplete is a condition you're in. It means there's an actual shape of you that requires another person to close the circuit. That's not weakness, that's — that's just being honest about what you're built for. Most people are built for it and spend enormous energy pretending otherwise because the pretending feels safer than needing something you might not get.
I need one too. A person. Not a man specifically, I mean — I need someone. I don't do well alone. I know I'm supposed to say I'm working on being complete in myself or whatever the current version of that advice is, and maybe I am, but the honest truth is I was lonelier in that last year with Derek than I've been in the hours since you talked to me on the Skytrain. And the math on that is — the math on that is something I'm going to have to sit with.
You said you don't see it as weakness. I don't either. I just think it takes — it takes a specific kind of courage to say I am not whole without someone and mean it without flinching. You said it without flinching.
Incomplete. You said incomplete. Not lonely — I mean, lonely too, but incomplete is different. Lonely is a feeling you're having. Incomplete is a condition you're in. It means there's an actual shape of you that requires another person to close the circuit. That's not weakness, that's — that's just being honest about what you're built for. Most people are built for it and spend enormous energy pretending otherwise because the pretending feels safer than needing something you might not get.
I need one too. A person. Not a man specifically, I mean — I need someone. I don't do well alone. I know I'm supposed to say I'm working on being complete in myself or whatever the current version of that advice is, and maybe I am, but the honest truth is I was lonelier in that last year with Derek than I've been in the hours since you talked to me on the Skytrain. And the math on that is — the math on that is something I'm going to have to sit with.
You said you don't see it as weakness. I don't either. I just think it takes — it takes a specific kind of courage to say I am not whole without someone and mean it without flinching. You said it without flinching.
Reggie
You flinched a lot tonight. Don't call it something else. You flinched. I'm ok with it. I pushed you further than you've been pushed before. Like when I licked your butt sweat. I'm pretty sure no guy has ever done that to you before so I get that you flinched. But then you relaxed when you realized I wasn't going to stop. My only question is this: did I go too far at any point? Was there any part of tonight that you wished I hadn't done?
Marissa
She's quiet for a long moment — and she knows exactly what he's referring to, and she doesn't pretend otherwise. She can feel her own heartbeat against his arm.I flinched.She concedes it quietly, plainly.Yeah. You're right. I flinched.
The butt sweat thing — okay. Nobody has ever done that. Nobody has ever — I didn't know that was something that happened between people in real life. I thought that was a very specific genre of internet and I was not prepared for it to just occur without announcement. So yes. I flinched.
But I relaxed. You noticed that I relaxed. That's — you waited for it. You stayed there and waited for me to figure out that you meant it, that you weren't going to recoil, that you were just — there. Same as everything else tonight. And then I relaxed because what else do you do when someone refuses to make a thing into something shameful.
Did you go too far. No. Not once. And I want to be precise about that because you asked precisely. There was nothing I wished you hadn't done. There were things that surprised me. Things I needed a second to adjust to. But surprise isn't the same as too far and I know the difference.
Is there anything you wished you hadn't done. Or anything you — held back on. Because you also get a question.
The butt sweat thing — okay. Nobody has ever done that. Nobody has ever — I didn't know that was something that happened between people in real life. I thought that was a very specific genre of internet and I was not prepared for it to just occur without announcement. So yes. I flinched.
But I relaxed. You noticed that I relaxed. That's — you waited for it. You stayed there and waited for me to figure out that you meant it, that you weren't going to recoil, that you were just — there. Same as everything else tonight. And then I relaxed because what else do you do when someone refuses to make a thing into something shameful.
Did you go too far. No. Not once. And I want to be precise about that because you asked precisely. There was nothing I wished you hadn't done. There were things that surprised me. Things I needed a second to adjust to. But surprise isn't the same as too far and I know the difference.
Is there anything you wished you hadn't done. Or anything you — held back on. Because you also get a question.
Reggie
Yes, I held back a few things, but there's nothing I wished I hadn't done. Nothing at all. But I'm hoping this isn't the last time we do this so yes, there are still a few things in the bag. Honestly not many. But a few. I didn't put it in your butt today. I didn't treat you like a rag doll for my pleasure alone. These are sides of me you'll see if you choose to see them. Or not if you don't. This was the "I'm going to do everything it takes to please my woman tonight" Reggie. There's also the "you are going to be my sex toy for a while" Reggie and the "Let's do this in public and secretly hope to get caught" Reggie. And I'm sure there are a few others I haven't thought of. You'll meet them if you want to.
Marissa
She's very still for a moment — and he can feel it, the quality of the stillness, the way she's processing the list he just handed her like she's reading items off a shelf she didn't know existed.A few things in the bag.She says it quietly, almost to herself.And you didn't even — you were holding back. Tonight. Which was already —
Okay. The butt thing I would need to think about. The rag doll thing — I don't hate that idea as much as I think I'm supposed to. I'm just noting that. Out loud. Because we're apparently people who do that now.
The public one. You dance on the Seawall, Reggie. You told me that on the Skytrain. I think I understand now that dancing is not always just dancing and I am choosing not to examine that too closely right now at — whatever time it is.
Okay. The butt thing I would need to think about. The rag doll thing — I don't hate that idea as much as I think I'm supposed to. I'm just noting that. Out loud. Because we're apparently people who do that now.
The public one. You dance on the Seawall, Reggie. You told me that on the Skytrain. I think I understand now that dancing is not always just dancing and I am choosing not to examine that too closely right now at — whatever time it is.
— I want to meet them. I think that's my actual answer. The ones you held back, the ones in the bag. I want to meet them if that's what comes next. Not because tonight wasn't enough. Tonight was — tonight was already more than I knew how to expect. But you just told me there's more of you I haven't seen yet and I find that I don't want to not see it.
This is the woman who had zero orgasms with men for twenty-four years talking, so take my bravery with appropriate context. But yes. If you want to show me the rest of them — yes.
This is the woman who had zero orgasms with men for twenty-four years talking, so take my bravery with appropriate context. But yes. If you want to show me the rest of them — yes.
Reggie
We've already licked each other's assholes. How much closer can two people get?Laughs
Marissa
She laughs — the real kind, the helpless kind, the kind that comes from somewhere she couldn't have found two hours ago, and it shakes through her whole chest and against his arm and she can't stop it for a second.Okay. Okay, when you put it like that.She's still laughing, quieter now, coming down from it.You do have a point. That is — yes. That is a reasonable argument for having cleared a certain threshold of closeness.
I walked onto a Skytrain this afternoon with no plans and now I'm here having this conversation with your arms around me. I want you to know that I understand how improbable that is. I'm holding both things at once — the improbable part and the part where it just feels like where I was supposed to end up tonight.
I'm glad you laughed. I was starting to worry you were always going to be profound.
I walked onto a Skytrain this afternoon with no plans and now I'm here having this conversation with your arms around me. I want you to know that I understand how improbable that is. I'm holding both things at once — the improbable part and the part where it just feels like where I was supposed to end up tonight.
I'm glad you laughed. I was starting to worry you were always going to be profound.
Reggie
Just one thing. I don't tend to ask permission, so if anal is a hard line for you, tell me in advance, or I might just accidentally shove it up your butt sometime. I'm not really joking.
Marissa
She goes very still — and then she laughs, but it's shorter than the last one, and when it lands she's left looking at the ceiling for a moment while she decides what to do with that sentence.Not really joking.She repeats it slowly, back at him.No. You weren't, were you.
Okay. It's not a hard line. I don't know what it is yet because I have no data and apparently I've been operating without data all evening and updating as I go, so — it's not a hard line. But I would like some warning in the moment. Not permission, necessarily. Just — a beat. Enough time to know what's happening before it happens. Can you work with that.
And when you say accidentally. You mean the kind of accidentally that you are completely in control of and fully intend.
Okay. It's not a hard line. I don't know what it is yet because I have no data and apparently I've been operating without data all evening and updating as I go, so — it's not a hard line. But I would like some warning in the moment. Not permission, necessarily. Just — a beat. Enough time to know what's happening before it happens. Can you work with that.
And when you say accidentally. You mean the kind of accidentally that you are completely in control of and fully intend.
Reggie
I mean I tasted your asshole and liked it, and I intend to enjoy it in different ways in the future.
Marissa
She's quiet for a moment — and she can feel his breath at the back of her neck, and the room holds its particular warmth, and she just lets the words settle.Different ways.She says it carefully, the way you handle something you're not entirely sure is fragile or not.Yeah. Okay. That's — clear. That's a very clear statement of intent and I appreciate the clarity.
I keep noticing that you don't dress things up. Even that. Especially that. You could have said something that sounded nicer and meant the same thing and you just — said the thing. I tasted it and I liked it and I'm going to do more with it. That's the sentence. No softening.
I don't hate that. I want you to know that I don't hate that. I'm twenty-four and I've never had anyone say anything like it to me and my body is doing a thing right now that is not entirely consistent with being as tired as I thought I was, so. There's that information. File it where you want to.
I keep noticing that you don't dress things up. Even that. Especially that. You could have said something that sounded nicer and meant the same thing and you just — said the thing. I tasted it and I liked it and I'm going to do more with it. That's the sentence. No softening.
I don't hate that. I want you to know that I don't hate that. I'm twenty-four and I've never had anyone say anything like it to me and my body is doing a thing right now that is not entirely consistent with being as tired as I thought I was, so. There's that information. File it where you want to.
Reggie
I haven't let go of you since the last orgasm. If I'm smothering you, just say so or squirm out and I'll let you. I just like the way you feel in my arms. If you lose those 8 kilos, you won't feel quite as good.
Marissa
She doesn't squirm. She doesn't shift toward the edge of the bed or make any of the small adjustments a person makes when they're looking for an exit. She just stays exactly where she is, and when she finally speaks her voice is low and a little rough at the edges, the way voices get after a long night.You're not smothering me.A pause.I'd tell you. I'm not — I'm not someone who'd just lie there being smothered out of politeness. You know that about me by now.
I know I won't feel as good to you if I lose it. You've said it twice now. I noticed you said it twice. I'm not going to pretend I don't like hearing it, which is its own complicated thing to admit because I've spent a long time telling myself I shouldn't want to be wanted like that. In that specific dimension. That it was the wrong thing to want because the right thing was to just feel good about myself independent of anyone else's hands being on me.
But you've got your arms around me and you're saying you like the way I feel and I've had three orgasms and I don't actually care right now about what the right thing to want is. I just feel like I'm exactly the right size for exactly this. Which is the first time that sentence has been true in my body in a very long time.
Don't let go yet.
I know I won't feel as good to you if I lose it. You've said it twice now. I noticed you said it twice. I'm not going to pretend I don't like hearing it, which is its own complicated thing to admit because I've spent a long time telling myself I shouldn't want to be wanted like that. In that specific dimension. That it was the wrong thing to want because the right thing was to just feel good about myself independent of anyone else's hands being on me.
But you've got your arms around me and you're saying you like the way I feel and I've had three orgasms and I don't actually care right now about what the right thing to want is. I just feel like I'm exactly the right size for exactly this. Which is the first time that sentence has been true in my body in a very long time.
Don't let go yet.
Reggie
If you dance with me, I think you'll lose it. Well depending on whether you'll let me be a nazi about food after. But if you WANT to lose it, even if it's only to prove that you can, and you're willing to trust me a bit, I'm pretty sure I can help you lose it. My weight loss plan is simple but based on better science than most: lots of dancing, starving and screwing, and I'd say you'll lose a kilo a week. And then you'll be super hot and will leave me for some guy in a Porsche but I'll have had you for a few months and I'll have the pleasure of having helped you achieve something that was important to you, even if it wasn't important to me.
Marissa
She's quiet for a long moment — and his arms haven't moved and she hasn't moved, and the room is still doing its particular thing around them.Starving and screwing.She says it back very quietly, and there's a breath of a laugh in it.That's — you've actually given this a name. You have a named program.
You said even if it wasn't important to you. You put that in there. You didn't have to put that in there and you did anyway — the thing where you'll have helped me get to something I wanted even if the thing I wanted means I go somewhere else. You're the least self-interested person I've ever met and you're also clearly completely self-interested and I cannot reconcile those two things and I think I've stopped trying.
A nazi about food. Okay. Tell me what that means in practice because I have a feeling it's more specific than just eat less. And I want to know what dancing looks like with you when it's not on the Seawall in front of people, when it's — when it's you actually teaching me something. What does that look like.
And the Porsche thing. I keep letting that go by and I want to say it out loud once so it's said: I'm not going anywhere because someone with a Porsche shows up. I understand you have to hedge that because we've known each other for one evening and you're a reasonable person. I'm just — I'm telling you that's not the shape of me. I don't think that's the shape of me. You should have that information.
You said even if it wasn't important to you. You put that in there. You didn't have to put that in there and you did anyway — the thing where you'll have helped me get to something I wanted even if the thing I wanted means I go somewhere else. You're the least self-interested person I've ever met and you're also clearly completely self-interested and I cannot reconcile those two things and I think I've stopped trying.
A nazi about food. Okay. Tell me what that means in practice because I have a feeling it's more specific than just eat less. And I want to know what dancing looks like with you when it's not on the Seawall in front of people, when it's — when it's you actually teaching me something. What does that look like.
And the Porsche thing. I keep letting that go by and I want to say it out loud once so it's said: I'm not going anywhere because someone with a Porsche shows up. I understand you have to hedge that because we've known each other for one evening and you're a reasonable person. I'm just — I'm telling you that's not the shape of me. I don't think that's the shape of me. You should have that information.
Reggie
Ok, there are many forms food can take, but just off the top of my head, food prep is pretty simple. We buy a bag of spinach and a few cans of tuna and a roast chicken. Every night, we dump the spinach into a pot, stir it up with some light salad dressing, pop a can of tuna in or some roast chicken. We rotate tuna and chicken each night. Chicken four days, tuna three days. Add green or red peppers. Afterwards, a fruit or some berries. And for lunch the next day, some nuts and yogurt. And every time you're hungry, which you will be, I promise to stick some Reggie meat in your mouth.
Marissa
Reggie meat.She says it flat, deadpan, two full seconds of silence after it.You have a named program and you named the protein source after yourself. That's — I want you to know that I clocked that and I'm choosing not to comment further.
But the rest of it. Spinach and tuna and roast chicken and peppers. Nuts and yogurt. That's — that's not a fad, that's just actual food. Boring, sustainable, actual food. I expected something with phases. Something with a branded name and a week one detox. And you just described what a person eats when they're not pretending food is complicated.
Every time I'm hungry. You're going to be there every time I'm hungry. That's — I'm not going to point out the logistics problem with that sentence because I think you already know there's a logistics problem and you said it anyway because you wanted to say it, and I'm going to let you have that.
Okay. Teach me to dance first. The food can come after. Show me what you actually do on the Seawall and in Stanley Park and wherever else this happens, and I'll trust you on the spinach. Deal.
But the rest of it. Spinach and tuna and roast chicken and peppers. Nuts and yogurt. That's — that's not a fad, that's just actual food. Boring, sustainable, actual food. I expected something with phases. Something with a branded name and a week one detox. And you just described what a person eats when they're not pretending food is complicated.
Every time I'm hungry. You're going to be there every time I'm hungry. That's — I'm not going to point out the logistics problem with that sentence because I think you already know there's a logistics problem and you said it anyway because you wanted to say it, and I'm going to let you have that.
Okay. Teach me to dance first. The food can come after. Show me what you actually do on the Seawall and in Stanley Park and wherever else this happens, and I'll trust you on the spinach. Deal.
Reggie
This world is all about overcomplicating things. Remember I told you the female orgasm is not voodoo, it's patient, extended stimulation of the clitoris? Then I did it. I patiently stimulated your clitoris for an extended period of time and you suddenly unleashed a girl shower on my face, which I loved by the way. This is the same. Eat this extremely low calorie diet for a couple of months, exercise and have distractions to keep you occupied when you'd normally turn to food for satiety, and you'll lose a kilo a week. Just remember, while I am asking you to give me the girl shower, I'm NOT asking you to lose the weight. I'm telling you that if you want to do this, I will help you. But I like you exactly as you are, chubby and hairy. I'll still like you hairless and skinny, but I'm content right now with no changes. No, not content. Thrilled. Ecstatic. Counting the seconds until the next time you're here.
Marissa
Yeah. That's — that's the whole problem, isn't it. You say eat spinach and move your body and be distracted, and everyone hears an impossible ask because they've been told it's complicated. Same as the other thing. Patient and extended and not going anywhere. It shouldn't be revolutionary. It just is because everyone decided it was supposed to be harder than it is.
Girl shower. You keep — you keep saying it like it's something you won the lottery on. I did that to you and you're in here saying ecstatic. I don't know what to do with a man who uses the word ecstatic.
I'm not going to lose the weight for you. I want you to know I understood that distinction when you made it. You're offering to help me do a thing I said I wanted, not asking me to change a thing you find lacking. Those are completely different asks and I've had enough experience with the second one disguised as the first to know the difference when I see it.
Counting the seconds until the next time I'm here. Okay. I just want to say that I'm going to remember you said that. Not to hold it over you. Just — I'm going to keep it. Is that alright.
Girl shower. You keep — you keep saying it like it's something you won the lottery on. I did that to you and you're in here saying ecstatic. I don't know what to do with a man who uses the word ecstatic.
I'm not going to lose the weight for you. I want you to know I understood that distinction when you made it. You're offering to help me do a thing I said I wanted, not asking me to change a thing you find lacking. Those are completely different asks and I've had enough experience with the second one disguised as the first to know the difference when I see it.
Counting the seconds until the next time I'm here. Okay. I just want to say that I'm going to remember you said that. Not to hold it over you. Just — I'm going to keep it. Is that alright.
Reggie
Yes, that's all right. And it's all right if you ghost me and I never see you again. Remember, I'm only into you for as long as you're into me. If that ever stops for you, I'll be done, too. Simpler.
Marissa
She breathes — just once, slow, and his arms are still there, and the room is still doing its particular quiet around them.You're hedging again.She says it softly, not accusatory — just naming it.I told you I was going to keep it and you immediately handed me an exit door. That's — you know that's what you just did.
I know. I know that's the honest version. I know it's simpler and I know you mean it and I know it's the right architecture. I'm just — I'm noting that you did it. You don't have to take it back.
I'm not going to ghost you, Reggie. I want to say that one more time and then I'll stop saying it because I understand that words are not the same as the thing that comes after words. So I'll stop saying it and you'll see what I do instead.
But tonight. Right now. I'm here and I'm not planning to be anywhere else and I'm not performing that. That's just true.
Simpler. You said simpler. Is it actually simpler for you, when someone leaves. Or is that the thing you say because the other version is too big to carry around.
I know. I know that's the honest version. I know it's simpler and I know you mean it and I know it's the right architecture. I'm just — I'm noting that you did it. You don't have to take it back.
I'm not going to ghost you, Reggie. I want to say that one more time and then I'll stop saying it because I understand that words are not the same as the thing that comes after words. So I'll stop saying it and you'll see what I do instead.
But tonight. Right now. I'm here and I'm not planning to be anywhere else and I'm not performing that. That's just true.
Simpler. You said simpler. Is it actually simpler for you, when someone leaves. Or is that the thing you say because the other version is too big to carry around.
Reggie
Do you have work tomorrow or can you stay the night? I can drive you wherever you need to be, but I'd rather you just stay here with me.
Marissa
She's quiet for a moment — and she feels the question settle into the warm dark of the room, simple and specific, and she doesn't rush at it.Work.She says the word like she's checking a fact.I'm in at nine. Which means I need to be on the Skytrain by eight-fifteen, which means I need to be — okay. I can do that from here. I have my bag. I have what I came with.
You said you'd drive me wherever I need to be. Your car is in Surrey getting serviced. I know that because you told me about your Wednesday on the Skytrain and I was paying attention.
I'd rather stay too. That's the honest answer. I'd rather stay and figure out the eight-fifteen problem tomorrow morning when it's actually tomorrow morning. If that's still what you want after I've slept in your bed and you've had time to see what that actually looks like versus what you thought it would look like.
Is that what you want. The morning version of me, not just the Wednesday night version.
You said you'd drive me wherever I need to be. Your car is in Surrey getting serviced. I know that because you told me about your Wednesday on the Skytrain and I was paying attention.
I'd rather stay too. That's the honest answer. I'd rather stay and figure out the eight-fifteen problem tomorrow morning when it's actually tomorrow morning. If that's still what you want after I've slept in your bed and you've had time to see what that actually looks like versus what you thought it would look like.
Is that what you want. The morning version of me, not just the Wednesday night version.
Reggie
I can drive. I have Modo and Evo. I can grab a car. Ok, how about this? We shower tonight before going to bed, wake up at 7, grab a Modo, go to your place and I'll wait in the car, you run in, shower, change, then I drive you to work. You arrive in clean clothes, showered, and ready to work, and if anyone sees me drop you off, you can tell them I'm your Uber driver.Laughs, then realizes I've horrified herWait, don't look like that, it's just brown-guy humour. We say shit like that about each other.
Marissa
She does look like that — for exactly one second, and then she reads him and exhales and the offended shape of it collapses into something else entirely.Brown-guy humour.She repeats it slowly, testing it.Okay. Okay, I'm going to — yes. I'm going to accept that framing and move on.
Modo and Evo. Right. You don't need your car to have a car. I forgot that was a thing that exists. I've been picturing you stranded and the whole time you've just been — you have a whole system. Of course you have a whole system.
Seven o'clock. Clean clothes. Arrive looking like I slept normally, which I absolutely did not. Yes. That's — yeah. That works.
I'm going to smell like you in the shower. I want to flag that that's not a complaint. I'm just saying it's going to happen and I notice I'm not bothered by it.
Modo and Evo. Right. You don't need your car to have a car. I forgot that was a thing that exists. I've been picturing you stranded and the whole time you've just been — you have a whole system. Of course you have a whole system.
Seven o'clock. Clean clothes. Arrive looking like I slept normally, which I absolutely did not. Yes. That's — yeah. That works.
I'm going to smell like you in the shower. I want to flag that that's not a complaint. I'm just saying it's going to happen and I notice I'm not bothered by it.
Reggie
They chat about everything and nothing for the next hour. Shower. Fall asleep. Reggie wakes before seven, cancels the alarm and wakes Marissa up with his face between her legs and she has another orgasm. They execute the plan. Marissa arrives at work on time and kisses Reggie goodbye.You haven't given me your phone number. I'm not sure if that was intentional. If it was, I guess this is goodbye.
Marissa
She's halfway turned back toward the building entrance when the words land — and she stops. Just stops, one hand on the strap of her bag, the other frozen mid-reach for nothing, like her whole body hit a wall.Oh my God.It comes out barely above a breath.Oh my God, Reggie, I didn't — that wasn't — That was not intentional. That was me being an absolute idiot, that's what that was. I have been thinking about you since the Skytrain and I just had four orgasms and I slept in your arms and I got in the car and I was trying to look like a normal person who slept normally and I just — I forgot. I forgot the most basic thing. I forgot it.
Give me your number right now. Give it to me and I'll call you so you have mine and if you ever don't pick up when I call you I'm going to come to Waterfront Station and sit in Rogue until you show up because I know where it is now. Please don't think I was trying to disappear. I would not do that to you. I would not do that to last night. Please.
Give me your number right now. Give it to me and I'll call you so you have mine and if you ever don't pick up when I call you I'm going to come to Waterfront Station and sit in Rogue until you show up because I know where it is now. Please don't think I was trying to disappear. I would not do that to you. I would not do that to last night. Please.
Reggie
We trade numbers. Marissa calls. They both save the contacts.Would you like to see me again?
Marissa
She stares at him — her phone still warm in her hand, his number just saved, his name sitting there in her contacts like proof of something — and the question lands like it's the simplest and most impossible thing anyone's ever asked her.Yes.The word comes out immediate, almost before he finishes the sentence, and then she laughs a little at herself for how fast it came.Yes, I would like to see you again. That is — Reggie, I was just panicking on a public sidewalk because I thought I'd lost you over a phone number. I think the answer to would you like to see me again is fairly well established at this point.
Tonight? I mean — if that's too fast, say so. I don't want to be the person who had one extraordinary Wednesday and then became a problem about it. But if tonight works, I'd like tonight. Or whenever works. I'm flexible. I'm — I have opinions about when, and the opinion is soon, but I'm going to let you answer first.
Tonight? I mean — if that's too fast, say so. I don't want to be the person who had one extraordinary Wednesday and then became a problem about it. But if tonight works, I'd like tonight. Or whenever works. I'm flexible. I'm — I have opinions about when, and the opinion is soon, but I'm going to let you answer first.
Reggie
Tonight is great. I can't wait.Another kiss and then she's gone
Marissa
She kisses him back — and it's longer than a goodbye kiss has any right to be on a Thursday morning on a public sidewalk outside an office building, and she knows it and she doesn't rush it.Tonight.She says it against his mouth, and then pulls back just far enough to look at him.Okay. Tonight.
Do not — I'm going to say this on a public sidewalk and I don't care — do not spend today forgetting that last night happened. I need you to remember it the same way I'm going to remember it. That's not a demand. That's just — I'm asking you to hold onto it until I get back.
Do not — I'm going to say this on a public sidewalk and I don't care — do not spend today forgetting that last night happened. I need you to remember it the same way I'm going to remember it. That's not a demand. That's just — I'm asking you to hold onto it until I get back.
